Wednesday, March 21, 2018

Today's Top News Stories

                The University of Wisconsin at Stevens Point is at the vanguard of what is sure to be a coming trend among colleges. The bastion of higher education is discussing a plan to eliminate 13 majors including philosophy, English and history. The campus, one of 11 in the University of Wisconsin system, would focus on programs that have “clear career pathways,” according to the Washington Post.
                Make way for majors in Feminist Studies, Teaching Tolerance, White Privilege Therapy, Transgender Relations and Sex-Reassignment Medicine! Actually, the school says it will emphasize areas such as graphic design and computer information systems, disciplines that “have demonstrated value and demand in the region.”
                What has reason, language or the knowledge of history ever done for anyone anyway?

                Speaking of tolerance, a New York City Councilman has proposed a bill that would ban smoking while walking on New York City sidewalks. Queens Councilman Peter Koo (Dist. 20) says, “My bill is very simple, no smoking and walking on New York City sidewalks.” The intrepid public servant’s bill would make it a misdemeanor— likely punishable by a fine-- to smoke while traversing city sidewalks, so that others aren’t potentially offended by the unpleasant smell.
                Hopefully, other bills will be proposed, as well, including ones making it a crime to pass gas while walking on the sidewalks, to wear too much perfume or cologne while in public spaces, or to wear too little perfume or cologne in public if one hasn’t showered within the past 24 hours.
                Meanwhile, residents of Colorado and southern California, among other places, lie under a permanent mushroom-cloud of marijuana smoke.

                Speaking at an anti-violence rally at the University of Miami recently, former Vice-President Fightin’ Joe Biden told students he would have “beat the hell out” of President Trump if they’d attended high school together. Bemoaning the fact that the president once said, “I can grab a woman anywhere and she likes it,” he told those attending the anti-sexual assault rally, “They asked me if I’d like to debate this gentleman, and I said ‘no.’ I said, ‘If we were in high school, I’d take him behind the gym and beat the hell out of him.’” Biden stressed the fact that he’s “been in a lot of locker rooms my whole life,” as he’s “a pretty damn good athlete,” noting, “Any guy that talked that way was usually the fattest, ugliest S.O.B. in the room.”
                Oddly enough, the righteous and courageous Biden did not say what he would’ve done to former President Bill Clinton had they been in high school together, leaving us to simply assume he would’ve “really, truly, thoroughly beaten the crap out of” the accused serial rapist.
                In a related story, Women Against Violence (WAV) announced that Biden will be that organization’s spokesperson for the remainder of 2018.

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