Tuesday, December 27, 2016

MTV Airs "2017 Resolutions For White Guys"

                 MTV News, haven of cultural rationality and responsibility that it is, recently released a helpful video on Twitter, suggesting some New Year’s resolutions for “white guys.” The thoughtful video, dubbed “2017 Resolutions for White Guys,” offered up such constructive advice as, “learn what mansplaining is, then stop doing it.” The video, a veritable treasure-trove of tolerant trope and cogent thinking, also warned pale men against uttering the phrases “All Lives Matter” and/or “Blue Lives matter,” as “Black Lives Matter” is the only one of these expressions that is not overtly racist.
                The video lasts one minute and 21 seconds, and begins with an African-American male, one of three non-Caucasians in view, telling white viewers to listen up because, “there’s a few things we think you could do a little better in 2017.” (You’ve piqued my curiosity, I must say. Do tell!). At which point a female minority states: “First off, try to recognize that America was never great for anyone who wasn’t a white guy.” (No, it wasn’t Michelle Obama). Really? That is an absolutist statement and a massive generalization…besides being preposterous in the extreme.
                MTV News probably noticed that the President of the United States himself is black. (And he has done a Great job of Making America Weak Again). Minorities sit on the Supreme Court, hold various governorships, run companies, are truly beloved entertainers…and make countless millions of dollars for playing basketball, baseball and football. And, it should be noted, the minimum wage in this country equates to a higher annual salary than virtually any country in, say, Africa, can claim. As for women, a pathologically lying, serial-rapist abetting, carelessly acting with regard to America’s national security, “I hate everyday Americans” spouting…elderly female in frail health nearly became President of the United States.
                The video also cleverly allowed as to how, even if white people have black friends, it doesn’t mean they aren’t racist. At its climax, it humbly concluded that, while “nobody’s perfect,” it is white men who are the problem in this country, and that they “can do a little better in 2017,” especially in light of the fact that “2016 was bad.”
                In light of the incessant attacks, slander, hate speech, etc., etc., directed at white males (most of whom have jobs), and the Democratic Party’s demonizing of the white working class in general, I hereby issue a call for all white males to quit work, leave the country, or both. All of us. Period. I don’t care to hear of any reasons this might be inconvenient for you. Let this not be like the vapid Hollywood celebs threatening to leave the country after Trump was elected, but then refusing to do so. You harbor a responsibility to political correctness to take a hike. You owe it to reason, yourselves, posterity, your nation, and the fate of the world. Just quit. Just go. Stop being so offensive. Stop working. Let’s see how it goes for the rest of the country, the enlightened ones, after we drop out.

                It is about damn time for Atlas to shrug.


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