Democrats, Experts Divided As To What Caused Trump Victory

                Top Democrats are divided as to what caused the election of Donald Trump. Some blame James Comey and the FBI, some pin it on the Russians, some fault Fox News, some think voting machines were hacked, some attribute it to “fake news,” and Jill Stein demanded a recount. (Since said recounts were trending to pad Trump’s margin, it seems that if votes were originally miscounted they were done so in favor of Mrs. Clinton).

                Now we have additional theories added to the mix. Many top scientists are now convinced that global warming led previously reasonable people to fall into the “basket of deplorables.” They believe that years of  continued exposure to temperatures as much as 2.8 degrees fahrenheit warmer than “normal” in  battleground states recently caused many of these state’s citizen’s vital synapses to overheat and falter,  seriously impairing their decision-making abilities- and, ultimately- leading to incorrect choices… and Donald Trump. (See Bunkum State Universities study findings in the December edition of Nature’s Ledger. Please note, B.S.U. is still accepting donations for fiscal year 2016, 10% of which they will re-donate to groups fighting global warming).

                Other experts polled believe poltergeists were “in some way or other” responsible for the inexplicable election result. At least 10 claimed it was the “Zionists fault.” Four attributed the President-elect’s victory to the rise of Satanism/witchcraft, two thought it was George W. Bush’s fault, and one blamed it on the Albanian Mafia.

                Of course, there are those unscientific types, mostly Republicans, that believe the Clinton campaign had become overconfident and didn’t spend enough time in the “battleground states.” Many in this camp also believe that Hillary’s referring to a significant portion of the American people as belonging to the “basket of deplorables” could have been off-putting to some voters. Moreover, they say, emails from key Clinton team members revealing that she “hated everyday Americans” may have been offensive to everyday Americans. Additionally, they surmise, the fact that she completely ignored white working class voters, except when proclaiming her desire to eliminate mining and extraction jobs in places such as Kentucky and West Virginia, probably worked against her as well.

                These opinions, however, have come almost solely from outlets known by the mainstream media to be purveyors of “fake news,” and, as such, should be thoroughly and immediately discredited.

                 The top scientists say that the preponderance of evidence is now so overwhelming that it was global warming that led to Trump’s triumph, that the debate is now over, and “Deniers” should be imprisoned.