September 11, 2015-
Oh, No! Deflate-Gate II?!
In a story that’s shocking the sports world today, and one that will likely deliver yet another blow to the integrity of the NFL, the New England Patriots (i.e., the “Brady Bunch”) have been accused of tampering with opposing team’s buses. According to the story, posted on the website “theIndianapolisColtsrule.com,” anonymous Patriot employees have been observed deflating the tires of opponents team buses outside the hotels these opposing teams stay at when playing in Foxboro. Insiders state that these Patriot operatives- under cover of night- deflate the enemy team’s bus tires by an average of ten PSI, thereby resulting in more friction and less travel distance per revolution, slowing them down on the way to Gillette Field, resulting in less practice time. Sources claim the Patriot foe’s bus trips have been extended by an average of approximately 39.8 seconds each, resulting in correspondingly less practice time.
Yet another unfair advantage for those gridiron cheats so smugly clad in their red, white and blue.