Monday, January 17, 2022

Hillary? Again?


Recent news reports claim that Hillary Rodham Clinton may run for president—again-- in 2024. Will this be the seventh time? Or does it just feel like it? Regardless, I for one am excited. I’m sure Bill is too, but, of course, he’s always excited.

Anyway, think of the possibilities! This would be a veritable dream ticket. A Hillary and Bill Clinton administration would offer us an unprecedented treasure trove of bizarre and humorous personal and political fodder. Perhaps Bill could be Hillary’s Vice-Presidential candidate. That would be a first! Women everywhere would be thrilled on multiple levels! The famously charismatic, if sociopathic, Mr. Clinton could breathe new life into his wife’s previously stale campaign style. If she would let him. What’s that you say, the spouse of a presidential candidate can’t be on the same ticket? But, conveniently for them, Democrats are in control at the moment, and they have proven time and time again that they don’t give a crap about the Constitution, rule of law, or even natural rights granted by our Creator. Don’t wish to be vaccinated? They’ll demonize you, throw you out of your job—and throw you into a holding “camp” or prison. The Electoral College? Get rid of it they scream! The filibuster? They used to love it but now hate it and want to exterminate it. The Supreme Court? Pack it!

So, if the duo were elected, Bill could lay (sorry) claim to being the only person ever to first hold the office of president and then of Vice-President, while being the inaugural “First Man,” as well! And that’s just for starters! Hillary, who many believe to be a closet lesbian, could finely, figuratively be the one who wears the pants in her family, not just the one who actually wears the pants-suits.


Even better yet, I can easily picture Bill “coming out” as a woman, saying he finally found the courage to admit he “self-identifies” as female… and couldn’t have been guilty of harassing women in the past because he’s been one all along! A lesbian woman who has been unfairly pilloried and marginalized! Picture them on stage, Hillary in her pants-suit and Bill in a blue dress stating: “They claimed I used to harass women…and now I am one!” What a turnaround, what a boon to her campaign! Brilliant political strategy… and theater! Women would lap it up! Hillary would, at long last, look longingly and seductively into her spouse’s eyes.


And maybe some journalist would shout out: “Mr.—I mean Mrs.—I mean Ms. William Clinton, that looks like Monica’s dress,” and he she would answer, “That’s because it is! You, sir, deserve a cigar! I never could get the evidence- I mean stain- out. Don’t go to my dry-cleaner, ha, ha, ha! Anyway, pardon ‘moi’ now, I’m going to go harass myself, if ya’ know what I mean!”


Back to the future? Future to the back? Whatever. Get ready to party like it’s 1999!





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