Online reports citing an anonymous
Beijing diplomat have speculated that Chinese President Xi Jinping, during a
recent phone call, may have asked Russian President Vladimir Putin not to
invade Ukraine during the upcoming Beijing Olympic Games. A Russian attack
incursion would steal
Xi’s thunder and take the spotlight off of his glorious nation’s peerless hosting
ability, thereby depriving him of the opportunity to showcase the superiority
of the Chinese Communist Party. If Putin were to sack the Ukraine during the
Olympics, it would create a highly negative backdrop for the Olympic Games. In
other words, it would be “a bummer” for Xi.
China’s Foreign Ministry
highlighted the
importance Beijing attaches to the issue at a recent news briefing. It stated
that countries should observe a traditional U.N. Olympic Truce resolution
"from seven days before the start of the Olympic Games until seven days
after the end of the Paralympic Games", according to a spokesman.
That
would span the time from January 28th to March 20th. Unfortunately
for an eager Putin, mid-late March is precisely the time when eastern Ukraine's
frozen landscape usually begins to turn to cloying mud, making a rapid Russian
incursion much more difficult.
I can
clearly hear the conversation between the two dictators presidents.
Jinping:
“Vlad, promise me you won’t invade the Ukraine during our Winter Olympics!”
Putin: “I will, Xi, if you promise not to
attack Taiwan while we are invading Ukraine.”
Jinping: “Agreed, if you don’t annex Estonia while we
are absorbing Mongolia.”
Putin: “What?! I was going to ask you not to
take Nepal while we were absorbing Mongolia!”
Jinping: “Vlad, let’s relax and have a couple of
baijius. We can work this out.”
Putin: “Nyet, Xi……but make it a couple of vodkas and
you’ve got a deal.”
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