Senators Elizabeth Warren (D-Mass.)
and Ed Markey (D-Mass.) recently introduced a bill to rename over 1,000 of their
country’s place
names in the interest of rewriting history virtue-signaling anti-racism.
The ever-so-courageous Bay State duo, along with then-Congresswoman Deb Haaland
(D-N.M.) who is now Secretary of the Interior, previously introduced a similar
bill in 2020. The Baked Bean State justice warriors mean business this time and
have formally labeled their bill the Reconciliation in Place Names Act.
We can only hope that the first
place name the Pilgrim State senators’ bill would replace would be that of the
city in which they ply their smarmy, disingenuous trade…Washington,
D.C., the nation’s capital. Obviously, and by extension, Washington state
will have to be renamed, as well. We can’t have a city or a state named after a
guy who owned slaves for Pete’s sake! (Come to think of it, maybe we could name
them after a guy named Pete. There’s got to be a number of Petes whose families
never owned slaves, right? There are probably several that are very
progressive, vote only for Democratic-Socialists, and watch “The View”
religiously. And maybe one or two that are non-binary and drive Prius Hybrids!)
Madison, Wisconsin, and Jefferson
City, Missouri, will also have to be renamed for the same reason. Columbus,
Ohio, will likewise have to go—duh!—as no place should be named after a failed
European explorer whose actions ended up causing the destruction of the
formerly pristine North American continent. Lincoln, Nebraska, must be promptly
canceled and sent down the memory hole, because, even though Abraham Lincoln
freed the slaves, he allegedly on occasion said things insufficiently worshipful
of African-Americans. Los Angeles must be expunged from maps of the U.S. due to
appropriation. It is Spanish for The Angels. American devils
stole the term to christen what’s now their nation’s second largest city…a city
that is certainly not angelic.
Saint Louis was unfortunately named
after King Louis IX, the only French king ever to be canonized. Louis IX
routinely persecuted Jews and also managed to conduct two crusades against
Muslims in his spare time. No American city or place should be named after any
Catholic saint. Separation of church and state…I mean ‘hello,’ right! Therefore,
not only does Saint Louis have to be renamed, but St. Paul, St. Joseph, St.
Augustine, St. Cloud, and St. Croix Falls, among others, must be promptly
rebranded.
Then there are the White Mountains
of New Hampshire, the cities of White Plains, N.Y., and Whitewater, Wisconsin,
and far too many other hamlets, venues and locales across the fruited plain
that have the hurtful and marginalizing white supremacist term “white” as part
of their nomenclature.
And I have just begun to scratch
the surface of blatantly racist place names in America. Speaking of which,
“America” was named after yet another Italian explorer, Amerigo
Vespucci. (Vespucci was the first person to claim that the land Columbus
discovered wasn’t the West Indies, which is what he was seeking, but was
actually a new country. Yeah, a systemically racist and misogynist one!)
Unless it was named after Richard Amerike,
a wealthy Welsh merchant from Bristol.
Either way, America was named after
a white European, even though we now know that all
white people are helplessly racist due to the color of their skin. How
racist is that?
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