Thursday, August 12, 2021

Democratic Senators Introduce Bill To Rename America's Cities, Places


Senators Elizabeth Warren (D-Mass.) and Ed Markey (D-Mass.) recently introduced a bill to rename over 1,000 of their country’s place names in the interest of rewriting history virtue-signaling anti-racism. The ever-so-courageous Bay State duo, along with then-Congresswoman Deb Haaland (D-N.M.) who is now Secretary of the Interior, previously introduced a similar bill in 2020. The Baked Bean State justice warriors mean business this time and have formally labeled their bill the Reconciliation in Place Names Act.

We can only hope that the first place name the Pilgrim State senators’ bill would replace would be that of the city in which they ply their smarmy, disingenuous trade…Washington, D.C., the nation’s capital. Obviously, and by extension, Washington state will have to be renamed, as well. We can’t have a city or a state named after a guy who owned slaves for Pete’s sake! (Come to think of it, maybe we could name them after a guy named Pete. There’s got to be a number of Petes whose families never owned slaves, right? There are probably several that are very progressive, vote only for Democratic-Socialists, and watch “The View” religiously. And maybe one or two that are non-binary and drive Prius Hybrids!)

Madison, Wisconsin, and Jefferson City, Missouri, will also have to be renamed for the same reason. Columbus, Ohio, will likewise have to go—duh!—as no place should be named after a failed European explorer whose actions ended up causing the destruction of the formerly pristine North American continent. Lincoln, Nebraska, must be promptly canceled and sent down the memory hole, because, even though Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves, he allegedly on occasion said things insufficiently worshipful of African-Americans. Los Angeles must be expunged from maps of the U.S. due to appropriation. It is Spanish for The Angels. American devils stole the term to christen what’s now their nation’s second largest city…a city that is certainly not angelic.

Saint Louis was unfortunately named after King Louis IX, the only French king ever to be canonized. Louis IX routinely persecuted Jews and also managed to conduct two crusades against Muslims in his spare time. No American city or place should be named after any Catholic saint. Separation of church and state…I mean ‘hello,’ right! Therefore, not only does Saint Louis have to be renamed, but St. Paul, St. Joseph, St. Augustine, St. Cloud, and St. Croix Falls, among others, must be promptly rebranded.

Then there are the White Mountains of New Hampshire, the cities of White Plains, N.Y., and Whitewater, Wisconsin, and far too many other hamlets, venues and locales across the fruited plain that have the hurtful and marginalizing white supremacist term “white” as part of their nomenclature.

And I have just begun to scratch the surface of blatantly racist place names in America. Speaking of which, “America” was named after yet another Italian explorer, Amerigo Vespucci. (Vespucci was the first person to claim that the land Columbus discovered wasn’t the West Indies, which is what he was seeking, but was actually a new country. Yeah, a systemically racist and misogynist one!) Unless it was named after Richard Amerike, a wealthy Welsh merchant from Bristol.

Either way, America was named after a white European, even though we now know that all white people are helplessly racist due to the color of their skin. How racist is that?  

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