President Trump Press Conference Questions
September, 2020
CNN correspondent: “Mr. President, multiple anonymous
sources have reported that you killed and ate your son Barrow. How long had you
been planning to do this? Was Melania complicit in this despicable crime? And
will this force you to do the right thing for once and resign your presidency
and drop out of the 2020 race?”
MSNBC reporter: “Mr. President, in light of the fact that
you think anyone who serves in America’s military is a “sucker” and a “loser,”
how can you claim to hold police officers in high regard? What is the
difference in your twisted mind between those who serve primarily abroad and
those who do so at home? And, a follow-up question if I may, will this force
you to resign your presidency and drop out of the 2020 race?”
CBS reporter: “Mr. President, your hatred for peoples of
color has been widely and irrefutably reported, by unbiased and unimpeachable
sources. So let me ask you this: as a white supremacist, do you believe all
black people like fried chicken and watermelon?”
NBC reporter: “Mr. President, since you destroyed the American
economy and fomented riots in the streets of her cities, all while blaming
China, BLM and Antifa for what is clearly your responsibility-- and yours
alone—I just wonder, how do you sleep at night, sir?”
New York Times columnist: “Sir, and I use that term loosely,
no credible person doubts the existence of man-caused global warming. Everyone
from Greta Thunberg to Brad Pitt to Michael Moore to Taylor Swift knows that we
are about to cause the Earth to spontaneously combust. Of course, you disagree.
Can you tell us if your disdain for our planet is really a reflection of your
secret disgust with yourself?”
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Joe Biden Press Conference Questions
September, 2020
CNN Correspondent: “Mr. Biden, are you willing to promise
the American people that, should you become president, you won’t kill and eat
your son Hunter?”
MSNBC reporter: “Mr. Biden, you have spoken—and ever so
eloquently I might add-- in the past about your genuine, deep and abiding love
for America’s troops. Would you please share with us now what you think of
President Trump’s callous and unconscionable remarks? I thank you in advance
for sharing your innermost thoughts with us.”
CBS reporter: “Mr. Biden, you worked closely with an
African-American president. In light of that, how offended and repulsed are you
by President Trump’s overt racism?”
NBC reporter: “Mr. Biden, I want to publicly commend you for
always taking the high road. However, and I don’t mean to ask a harsh question,
but how are you able to keep from appearing violently angry over the numerous
idiotic and hateful things the president says on a daily basis?”
New York Times columnist: “Mr. Biden, as you well know, all
of us in the mainstream media work selflessly, tirelessly and around the clock
to provide the citizens of the United States with absolutely unbiased and
factual information for their own benefit and edification. Does it not piss you
off big time when Trump labels us ‘fake news?’”
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