Saturday, September 12, 2020

Trump Vs. Biden Press Conferences


President Trump Press Conference Questions

September, 2020


CNN correspondent: “Mr. President, multiple anonymous sources have reported that you killed and ate your son Barrow. How long had you been planning to do this? Was Melania complicit in this despicable crime? And will this force you to do the right thing for once and resign your presidency and drop out of the 2020 race?”

MSNBC reporter: “Mr. President, in light of the fact that you think anyone who serves in America’s military is a “sucker” and a “loser,” how can you claim to hold police officers in high regard? What is the difference in your twisted mind between those who serve primarily abroad and those who do so at home? And, a follow-up question if I may, will this force you to resign your presidency and drop out of the 2020 race?”

CBS reporter: “Mr. President, your hatred for peoples of color has been widely and irrefutably reported, by unbiased and unimpeachable sources. So let me ask you this: as a white supremacist, do you believe all black people like fried chicken and watermelon?”

NBC reporter: “Mr. President, since you destroyed the American economy and fomented riots in the streets of her cities, all while blaming China, BLM and Antifa for what is clearly your responsibility-- and yours alone—I just wonder, how do you sleep at night, sir?”

New York Times columnist: “Sir, and I use that term loosely, no credible person doubts the existence of man-caused global warming. Everyone from Greta Thunberg to Brad Pitt to Michael Moore to Taylor Swift knows that we are about to cause the Earth to spontaneously combust. Of course, you disagree. Can you tell us if your disdain for our planet is really a reflection of your secret disgust with yourself?”



Joe Biden Press Conference Questions

September, 2020


CNN Correspondent: “Mr. Biden, are you willing to promise the American people that, should you become president, you won’t kill and eat your son Hunter?”

MSNBC reporter: “Mr. Biden, you have spoken—and ever so eloquently I might add-- in the past about your genuine, deep and abiding love for America’s troops. Would you please share with us now what you think of President Trump’s callous and unconscionable remarks? I thank you in advance for sharing your innermost thoughts with us.”

CBS reporter: “Mr. Biden, you worked closely with an African-American president. In light of that, how offended and repulsed are you by President Trump’s overt racism?”

NBC reporter: “Mr. Biden, I want to publicly commend you for always taking the high road. However, and I don’t mean to ask a harsh question, but how are you able to keep from appearing violently angry over the numerous idiotic and hateful things the president says on a daily basis?”

New York Times columnist: “Mr. Biden, as you well know, all of us in the mainstream media work selflessly, tirelessly and around the clock to provide the citizens of the United States with absolutely unbiased and factual information for their own benefit and edification. Does it not piss you off big time when Trump labels us ‘fake news?’”





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