Tuesday, April 21, 2020

NBA Working On Televised H-O-R-S-E Competition

                Reports say that the NBA and ESPN are working on televising a H-O-R-S-E competition, with several high-profile players engaging in the traditional playground game remotely, most likely from their own home gyms, in proper social-distancing compliance. It’s not exactly March Madness or the Stanley Cup Finals, but we’ll take it, I guess. What choice do we have?
                One of the worst things about being interminably locked inside of our own domiciles during the Chinese Virus Pandemic has been the lack of any major sporting events to relieve the stress and tedium. While several stations have aired exciting and historic games from the past, sports programmers have understandably scraped the bottom of the barrel trying to come up with new events to air, given the ban on large gatherings and the mandatory 6-feet remove of all contestants from all others.
                For example, here is the schedule from a recent Saturday evening:

*7 PM: ESPN—Midwest Corn-Shucking Championship
*7 PM: ESPN 2— North American Tiddly Winks League (regular season play)
*7 PM: NBC Sports Network (NBCSN)—NHL Figure Skating Exhibition
*7 PM: FoxSports—Pro-Am Parchesi Tournament
*9 PM: ESPN—“UNO” Round Robin Card Exhibition
*9 PM: ESPN 2— Organization of American States Geo-Cashing League (OASGCL) Action
*8 PM: NBC Sports Network—Pokemon Go World Championship
*10 PM: FoxSports—Hacky-Sack Semi-Pro League Action
*10 PM: ESPN—International Rock-Polishing Finals
*10 PM ESPN 2— Radio-Controlled Boat Racing (European League)
*10 PM: NBC Sports Network—World Paper Football League (WPFL) Semi-Finals (from Belfast)
*11 PM: FoxSports—Wisconsin Town Team Underwater Basket-Weaving Invitational

                The first major sports league to begin post-pandemic play will enjoy astronomical television ratings, if not particularly high attendance figures. For now, bring on the NFL draft!

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