WFLD FOX 32, a television station in Chicago, recently
reported that five coronavirus samples were stolen from a lab employee’s car at
a Chicago gas station. Incredibly, the lab employee, a 42-year old woman, left
her car unlocked and running while she went into the South Side gas
station shortly before 7 p.m. Not surprisingly, as she entered the station, two
men stole her car, a 2015 Jeep Cherokee. Apparently, after enlisting the help
of a relative, the remarkably careless lab tech located her vehicle only a few
miles away. Nearing midnight, she alerted nearby police officers that the two
men were still in the car. Reports say the police then approached the
vehicle, prompting the men to flee. Somehow, they got away from the police, who
are still searching for them.
The police confirmed that all five
of the
samples were missing from the car after they repossessed the vehicle.
The whole episode is stupefying. Were the coronavirus
samples in little plastic bottles with snap-on lids? Were they just sitting on
the backseat of the ditzy lab tech’s car? On its dashboard? Did the ditzy lab
tech have to use the rest room? Fancy a snack? Need to buy a pack of cigs? I
mean, what the hell?! So, the two guys stole a car and then fled…with the virus
samples? Did they know they were there? Did they know what they were? And the cops
saw the two guys in the car and yet the two guys got out and fled and the cops
couldn’t catch them? Were the cops afraid to get too close to the two car
thieves? Or afraid to get too close to the coronavirus samples?
It’s a good thing this lab tech wasn’t
entrusted with our nuclear codes or samples of uranium 235. “I know I should
protect them, but, damn it, I crave a Twinkie! Couldn’t hurt if I left the
doors unlocked and the car running, could it? Be a lot easier for me when I get
back.”
Of all the ways “experts” have told us
the coronavirus spreads, of all the things to watch out for…this wasn’t one of
them.
Sunbathers, dog-walkers and lone
paddle-boarders have been fined and/or arrested during this crisis. Will this
lab tech be held accountable?
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