Saturday, July 13, 2019

Miley Cyrus Won't Procreate Because Of Global Warming

                Miley Cyrus recently released a video for her new feminist “fight song,” called “Mother’s Daughter,” in which she struts around in a vagina catsuit and sings “don’t f*ck with my freedom.” (The suit makes her look like nothing so much as a large, red Penis Flytrap). The pop star and Planned Parenthood propagandist also recently announced that she won’t reproduce due to global warming.
                A grateful world breathed a sigh of relief.
                The ditzy diva said of the Earth: “We just take and take and expect it to keep producing. And it’s exhausted. It can’t produce. We’re getting handed a piece-of-shit planet, and I refuse to hand that down to my child. Until I feel like my kid would live on an earth with fish in the water, I’m not bringing in another person to deal with that.” Say what? So, you’re not “handing down” this “piece-of-shit” planet to your child? Well, good for you, but Africans, Middle-Easterners, South Americans and Asians are handing this Hell-hole down to their children like their lives depended on it. And, Miley, there are fish in the water. All over the world. Just not in your chlorinated, vagina-shaped pool in Franklin, Tennessee, you ignorant skank.
Then the oddball offspring of Billy Ray Cyrus and Letitia Finley decided the Earth identifies as female, stating: “When she’s angry, don’t f*ck with her. That’s the way that I feel women are like right now. The earth is angry.” (Maybe Mother Earth shouldn’t have reproduced so effectively all these years. Maybe she wouldn’t be so tired now if she had used protection). Ms. Cyrus added, “We’ve been doing the same thing to the earth that we do to women.” Really? Giving her subsidized abortions? Taking her to Macey’s to go shopping? Plying her with alcohol? Telling her that her butt doesn’t look too big? 
Cyrus claims that most Millennials feel the same way she does about (not) having babies. “We don’t want to reproduce because we know that the earth can’t handle it,” she said. I picture her staring at the Earth and bellowing, “You can’t handle my youth!” ala Jack Nicholson in “A Few Good Men.” (A movie title which probably wouldn’t be allowed today).
The erstwhile Hannah Montana cast member has expounded on her sexuality and her marriage to actor Liam Hemsworth in recent days, as well. She noted: “I like the way being sexual makes me feel, but I’m never performing for men. They shouldn’t compliment themselves to think that the decisions I’m making in my career would have anything to do with them getting pleasure.” She’s an American treasure, isn’t she?
Cyrus admitted, “I think it’s very confusing to people that I’m married.” (It certainly baffles me). She explained: “But my relationship is unique. And I don’t know that I would ever publicly allow people in there because it’s so complex, and modern, and new that I don’t think we’re in a place where people would get it. I mean, do people really think that I’m at home in a f*cking apron cooking dinner?”
Probably not.
She added: “I’m in a hetero relationship, but I still am very sexually attracted to women. People become vegetarian for health reasons, but bacon is still f*cking good, and I know that.”
 Is she comparing women’s bodies to pig meat? Oh well, leftists aren’t known for their intellect.
Maybe Billy Ray and Letitia should’ve visited Planned Parenthood before having Miley. Before she f*cked with their freedom.

Had they done so, there wouldn’t have been a “Mother’s Daughter.”

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