Nancy Pelosi: "Mowing The Grass" Will Secure Country

            House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi recently stated that “mowing the grass” along the U.S.-Mexico border so that illegal immigrants can’t be easily smuggled through the thick vegetation would be a more effective way to secure the nation than building a border wall.

Would that be on the highest setting, Nancy? How long would it take to mow a “strip” of land say about a mile or so deep and 1,954 miles long? Hope that grass doesn’t grow too fast! Gentlemen, start your engines! Don’t worry about those greenhouse gases! No wonder Toro’s stock is doing so well! The smart money is in the know, apparently.

I suppose riding mowers are out of the question due to their high cost and tendency to tip over on uneven terrain. But, maybe she could get Mexico to pay for them? Still, where would we store them? They’d probably be stolen and used to smuggle the illegal immigrants into the country. That would be ironic.

I have a semi-self-propelled push mower with a 22” deck. Let’s use that as a baseline. If there are 5,280 feet in a mile, multiply that by twelve and we get 63,360 inches. Divide that by the width of the deck and we see we’d need 2,880 of these mowers abreast to do the job. If we’re going 1,954 miles at four miles an hour, the 2,880 of us mowing would need 488 and ½ hours to complete the job. Let’s say we can handle the Olympian feat of mowing for 10 hours a day, seven days a week until we’re done. We would make the trek in just under 49 days. How often do you mow? And, remember, don’t take more than 1/3 of the blade off at one cutting! Anybody have an extra wide-deck Lawn-Boy laying around?

It’s long past time to put Ms. Pelosi out to pasture. She keeps referring to “President Bush” when she intends to refer to President Trump. And, she makes preposterous statements like this one. A person might logically wonder how she can keep getting elected. Well, speaking of grass…she is from California.