Genesis Debunked

            Tamara Kolton is a female rabbi from Michigan. She is also a psychologist. She recently attempted to combine the two disciplines by explaining to us how to properly interpret the Biblical story of Adam and Eve. (Whew! Finally! I had no clue what it was about! Where has she been all these…centuries?).

In timely fashion, she helpfully informs us that Eve was actually the first victim of sexual assault. By God.

 In fact, she equates God with disgraced Olympian doctor Larry Nassar. Here is Tammy, from her piece titled, “The First Story In The Bible Was The First Case Of #MeToo:”

“The story that begins the bible, the first one that we learn in Sunday school, the founding story of man and woman upheld for thousands of years by Judeo-Christian religion, is actually the story of the first sexual assault of a woman. The woman’s name is Eve. And the perpetrator? God.

“I want you to think about this. Here is a young, beautiful, intelligent, naked woman living in a state of Grace. She’s hungry, so she does the most natural thing in the world and eats a piece of fruit. For following her instincts, trusting herself, and nourishing her body, she is punished. Her punishment? She will never again feel safe in her nakedness. She will never again love her body. She will never again know her body as a place of sacred sovereignty.

“‘What have you done?’ He God thunders. Eve wants to defend herself, but she is too ashamed to speak. Eve, our first mother whose name means the ‘mother of all living things,’ is silenced, much the way the ‘patients’ of Dr. Nassar were.”

Yeah, pretty much like that. Tragically, she continues:

“The founding myth of Judeo-Christian religion, the story of Eve, granted generations of men permission to violate women. It teaches us that women are liars and sinners. Even if “She” is telling the truth, she deserved it. God told her not to eat that apple, or wear that skirt, or go out after dark, or be pretty, or desirous, or in that bar or on that street or in that car or born a girl.”

Yes, that’s precisely what Genesis was intended to do…grant generations of men permission to violate sinful, lying women. Since Eve ingested that apple, it must mean that all women thereafter should be considered rape-able tramps. What else could God be implying? And, remember, He told Eve not to tart herself up and go clubbing! (Though, to be honest, I don’t know if the Garden of Eden had many bars). 

He also told her not to be “born a girl?” This may well be the single dumbest thing ever uttered in any language. Parroting Tammy, I want you to think about that.

Unfortunately, she’s not done yet: “This God, this man-made figurehead of the patriarchy, is not my God. He is a fiction, a man-made myth, but yet one so powerful that it’s poisoned and limited our notion of what GOD, the truly divine, is and can be, especially for women. It’s time for the one truly loving, compassionate God — the God who wants nothing more than to see Eve to rise and resume her place as ‘the Mother of All Living Things’ — to make herself seen, known, and available to all of us. The God I believe in is all loving. God is a Divine source of life and healing, not shame and abandonment.”

If you don’t like this God, create your own! I’m sure she’ll be more tolerant and inclusive! “Not my God,” Tammy? Sorry, but you might not have any control over that. None of us could have asked to be born for obvious reasons, and none of us created the world. As I’ve frequently noted, logic isn’t a progressive strong suit. Neither is dignity. Or decency.

Ben Shapiro, writing for the Daily Wire, eviscerated her “argument,” calling it “the single most illiterate piece ever written on the Biblical story of Adam and Eve.” He characterized the piece as beyond ridiculous and stated that it “defies description.”

In my humble opinion, he was too gracious. The #MeToo movement has rapidly morphed into the #NoClue and #IAloneAmWorthySinceIAmUniquelyVictimized movements.

Rabbi Kolton ended her piece thusly:

“Just listen…Eve, our blessed mother, is saying, ‘#MeToo.’”

No she’s not. She’s gently weeping. For all her descendants, women and men.

God save us all.