I’ve had it with the media’s use of unattributed, or anonymous,
sources. Rarely cited in the past, these nebulous entities have now become
ubiquitous. The words of these faceless deep-throats have been weaponized by the
legacy media, handed their marching orders, and sent out to destroy a
duly-elected president. The latest example of this comes from that bastion of
truth, that embodiment of journalistic integrity (giggle), The New York Times.
A recent article penned by Michael S. Schmidt and Maggie Haberman opened
thusly: “President Donald Trump ordered the firing last June of Robert Mueller,
the special counsel overseeing the Russia investigation, according to four
people told of the matter, but ultimately backed down after the White House
counsel threatened to resign rather than carry out the directive.”
This
may even be true, but, seriously, “According
to four people told of the matter?!” So,
these unnamed people don’t even claim
to have first-hand knowledge of this information? Instead, these anonymous
sources got the information from other
anonymous sources? No need for any more authentication or corroboration than
that! Since when did The New York Times become Rolling Stone Magazine? Oh yeah,
since Donald Trump was elected.
I
myself have lots of nameless/anonymous sources. And here’s some breaking news
for you: According to my sources, the
Earth is flat. All this “round-Earth”
and “big, blue beautiful orb” crap has been a lengthy and elaborate ruse. Pythagoras was wrong!
Those sources, who- again- did not
wish to be identified, also told me that the Pillsbury Dough Boy is Jewish. (That
should get a rise out of him!). Moreover, four people recently told me that the Energizer bunny is
perpetually high on meth, and another guy told me that 9/11 was “an inside
job.”
And I’m saving the juiciest for
last: In an exclusive blockbuster
revelation, I can now reveal that highly placed sources have informed me that “reality”
is simply a construct of the white
male patriarchy, designed to permanently subjugate minorities and the otherwise
marginalized.
I’m sure The New York Times will
believe that last one.
No comments:
Post a Comment