“Look! Up in the sky! Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it’s
a giant phallus symbol!”
Or so some residents of
north-central Washington state might have been exclaiming recently. According
to the local CBS affiliate, KREM-TV, multiple sources reported seeing
sky-writings described as male genitalia. One witness told the station she was
upset she might have to explain to her young children “what the drawings were.”
Officials with the Naval Air
Station on Whidbey Island sheepishly told KREM that one of their aircraft was
“involved” in creating the obscene artwork in the wild blue yonder above
Okanogan County. In a statement addressed to KREM, a Navy spokesperson said,
“The Navy holds its aircrew to the highest standards and we find this
absolutely unacceptable, of zero training value and we are holding the crew
accountable.”
A Federal Aviation Administration
spokesperson told the television station the agency “cannot police morality,”
and therefore would take a hands-off position on the airborne appendage.
“Phallic sky-drawing” sounds like a
trippy, new-age art form or a college course, not something the Navy would be
practicing. Whoever set off on this flight of fancy obviously flew off the
proverbial handle. Whoever did this possesses a poor sense of timing, as well,
if also excellent flying skills and a firm grasp on spatial relations. He, she,
or they will be lucky if they aren’t accused of harassing the heavens and
booted out of the Navy.
Maybe they conflated a Naval slogan
with that of the Air Force. The former had a long-standing motto of “It’s not
just a job, it’s an adventure.” The latter’s catchphrase is: “Aim high.” (And
hard?). If you’ve seen the photo of the sky-drawing in question, you’d know
that is exactly what they did.
So, if you’re outside and happen to
look upwards, when out of the clear blue sky a penis appears…you’ll know how it
happened. After all, as anybody who has ever been in a men’s bathroom stall can
attest to, when it comes to sophomoric genital “art,” the sky is the limit.
Or at least it used to be.
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