Saturday, November 18, 2017

Penis In The Sky (A Phallus, See?)

             “Look! Up in the sky! Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it’s a giant phallus symbol!”

Or so some residents of north-central Washington state might have been exclaiming recently. According to the local CBS affiliate, KREM-TV, multiple sources reported seeing sky-writings described as male genitalia. One witness told the station she was upset she might have to explain to her young children “what the drawings were.”
Officials with the Naval Air Station on Whidbey Island sheepishly told KREM that one of their aircraft was “involved” in creating the obscene artwork in the wild blue yonder above Okanogan County. In a statement addressed to KREM, a Navy spokesperson said, “The Navy holds its aircrew to the highest standards and we find this absolutely unacceptable, of zero training value and we are holding the crew accountable.”
A Federal Aviation Administration spokesperson told the television station the agency “cannot police morality,” and therefore would take a hands-off position on the airborne appendage.
“Phallic sky-drawing” sounds like a trippy, new-age art form or a college course, not something the Navy would be practicing. Whoever set off on this flight of fancy obviously flew off the proverbial handle. Whoever did this possesses a poor sense of timing, as well, if also excellent flying skills and a firm grasp on spatial relations. He, she, or they will be lucky if they aren’t accused of harassing the heavens and booted out of the Navy.
Maybe they conflated a Naval slogan with that of the Air Force. The former had a long-standing motto of “It’s not just a job, it’s an adventure.” The latter’s catchphrase is: “Aim high.” (And hard?). If you’ve seen the photo of the sky-drawing in question, you’d know that is exactly what they did.
So, if you’re outside and happen to look upwards, when out of the clear blue sky a penis appears…you’ll know how it happened. After all, as anybody who has ever been in a men’s bathroom stall can attest to, when it comes to sophomoric genital “art,” the sky is the limit.

Or at least it used to be.

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