November 20th, 2017
News Services
***BREAKING NEWS***
In a truly remarkable sequence,
every heterosexual man in the world today admitted to-and apologized for- sexually harassing, and/or groping, and/or
ogling, and/or harboring “impure thoughts” about the vast majority of women on
the planet. All of the men in the world also admitted to various other types of
“inappropriate behavior,” including, but not limited to, leering, the use of
double entendres, fantasizing, uttering “the occasional lewd remark, limerick
or dirty joke,” hanging titillating or salacious calendars in their workplaces,
and “’accidentally’ copping a feel” in crowded bars.
Additionally,
the men pre-emptively apologized for entertaining any prurient or “indecent”
thoughts or fantasies in the future, or their potential consideration of
“untoward actions,” especially as they may pertain to inebriated females in
revealing apparel.
“We
solemnly pledge to do better,” they all said, adding, “But, it’s hard.”
No comments:
Post a Comment