Did you deep-fry a turkey this
Thanksgiving? If so, you may have affected the planet’s weather systems.
Say
what? According to The Telegraph, chemists at the universities of Reading,
Bristol and Bath claim to have discovered that, when droplets of cooking fat
are released into the atmosphere, they form complex structures which attract
moisture and form into clouds. Scientists claim cooking fat is responsible for
ten percent of small particles in the air in many large cities, leading them to
believe frying food could have a noticeable impact on cloud formation and rainy
weather. This research was recently published in the journal Nature Communications. (Operators are
standing by to take subscription requests. They’re extending a holiday season
BOGO offer: buy a gift subscription for a loved one and receive one for
yourself, absolutely free. Tell ‘em ‘Bob’ told you to call).
Dr.
Christian Pfrang, Associate Professor of Physical and Atmospheric Chemistry at
the University of Reading, said: “I think it could be having an impact on cloud
formation. It is likely that these structures have a significant effect on
water uptake of droplets in the atmosphere, increase lifetimes of reactive
molecules and generally slow down transport inside these droplets with yet
unexplored consequences.” He added, “Fat does seem to encourage cloud
formation.”
In
fact, some researchers believe this cooling effect is so large it could even
slow down global warming! If deep-frying food can pull the planet’s fat out of
the fire, the South is doing everything it can to save the Earth. So are many
of our State Fairs. They’ll deep-fry anything imaginable- and some things that
aren’t.
So, go
ahead folks, eat those fries, patronize Kentucky Fried Chicken, do up those
turkeys and catfish. Sacrifice yourself to save the planet. When someone says,
“A fat lot of good it will do,” they may not
mean it sarcastically.
We
may not be able to survive for long living off the fat of the land, but perhaps
the Earth itself can.
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