Tuesday, May 2, 2017

Simon The Rabbit Apparently Frozen, Cremated By United Airlines

                In what appears to be one long April Fool’s joke- or a fantastic, extended Monty Python skit- we apparently now know how Simon the giant rabbit met his unexpected and tragic demise at the hands of United Airlines. (See my post, Giant Bunny Dies On United Airlines Flight; 4/28). According to recent reports, he was frozen to death when inept ground staff at Chicago’s O’Hare International Airport accidentally put him in a “chiller.”
                Annette Edwards, former Playboy model (bunny?), Simon’s breeder- and mother of ten herself- had called for a post-mortem on the bunny’s body to determine the cause of death. That won’t be possible. Ms. Edwards said that representatives from the airline called her late Friday, informed her of the cause of death, and stated that Simon had been cremated.
                Edwards had previously stated: “The whole thing stinks of a cover-up.”
                So, United Airlines, coming off a spectacularly disastrous month in terms of public relations, accidentally freezes a large and famous rabbit to death, and then decides to burn his remains without consent?

                Elmer Fudd would be proud.

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