January 2, 2015
News Syndicate-
President
Obama outlined a new program earlier today that he said would “fix a lot of
America’s problems while keeping with the spirit of fairness and decency that
have been the hallmarks of my administration. Oh, and it’s also in the holiday
spirit.”
The
President proposed to “grant amnesty” to all those Americans who didn’t vote
for him in either of the past two presidential elections and “also to all those
misguided but possibly well-meaning folks who voted for Republicans this past
November.”
The
details of the proposal have yet to be worked out, but the President suggested
he favors a “cultural exchange type-deal” whereby the misguided voters, instead
of being “punished”- or harassed by the IRS or other Federal agencies- are
instead granted amnesty and shipped to Mexico in exchange for illegal aliens
who would be likewise granted amnesty upon arriving in the U.S.
“This
has the fairness and symmetry we strive to achieve. This is a win-win. The
wayward American voters essentially get off scot-free and I was going to do the
illegal amnesty deal anyway. Most of these voters are- uh, were- from suburban
and rural areas that are already sparsely populated so they would need to be
replaced in any case. This just ties everything up and puts a nice bow on it, I
think.”
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