Thursday, November 6, 2014

How Many Putins Does It Take?

                Putins, Putins everywhere? According to a report by the Russian-language newspaper “Trust” (but verify?) a female Russian lawmaker has introduced to the State Duma a bill that proposes to extend the greatness of Russia via it’s female citizens having access to the sperm of Vladimir Putin.

                “The essence of my proposition is simple”, said the Chairwoman of  the Parlaimentary Commission on Women’s Affairs (!), Children and Family, Yelena Borisovna Mizoulina. “Each female citizen of Russia will be able to receive by mail the genetic material of the President, get pregnant from him and have a baby. These mothers will be receiving special allowances from the government.”

                Sounds like they already would have!

                Vladimir might be busy for awhile.

                Ms. Mizoulina went on to describe what would happen after President Putin’s babies were born, presuming that they will be male. “And after the birth of the child, he will have to be given to be raised into the special institutions that resemble Souvorov Schools with the aim that he will be loyal to the Motherland and personally to the President of the Russian Federation.” A Souvorov School is akin to a military boarding school. (How long after the births she didn’t say).

                 She continued, “children born from the Russian President in the future will form the military and political elite of the State.” Nothing chilling there! (And, assuming they don’t abort the girl babies, what happens when these throngs of Putin kids are of age to be married? Confusing? “Ivan, meet my father…”).

                The “Putin Youth” will literally be… Putin’s.

                A pregnant idea, to be sure, but there aren’t enough countries in the world for all these future Putins to annex!

                And we thought the U.S. congress had some crazy ideas.
                (They wouldn’t dream of putting forward a bill like this! They wouldn’t, would they? Ms. Pelosi?!? Why is President Obama smiling??!).


*Mz. Mizoulina’s quotes and some other info were gleaned from an on-line piece from the New York Observer (Nov. 6th, 2014). They believe they were the first to translate this ‘proposal’ into English. (It is not likely this proposal will pass).

*Any/all ‘emphases mine


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