Protests have erupted throughout Iran recently after police arrested Mahsa Amini, a 22-year-old woman, for allegedly failing to comply with the country’s stringent women's dress regulations surrounding head coverings. Amini died while in custody, and critics accused the police of beating her while she was detained.
In response, Iran’s parliament voted to punish the protesters with the death penalty after more than 14,000 of its citizens were arrested while protesting that nation’s government. Iranian “lawmakers” voted overwhelmingly to press the judiciary to impose the ultimate punishment on those openly opposing the government.
These reports immediately prompted top Democrats to applaud the ruling mullah’s “progressiveness in acting to save their nation’s democracy.”
One top Democrat stated: “Refusing to obey the government’s mandate to wear a certain piece of clothing, especially one covering one’s head, is precisely akin to the extreme MAGA types’ reluctance to wear face masks during the pandemic-- and their refusal to stop flying early American banners such as the Gadsden or Betsy Ross flags.”
Another noted, “Our treatment of the January 6 protesters, holding them without charge, some tortured, some in solitary confinement, shows we are almost as advanced as the Iranians when it comes to protecting democracy.”
Still another noted: “Violently crushing all dissent is the hallmark of a free society…and the only way we can save our precious democracy.”
(Particularly observant readers will realize that paragraphs 3-6 are an example of a writer's embellishment that we in the business call "satire," though said paragraphs almost certainly accurately reflect the feelings of many in today's Democratic Party.)
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