Nevada Won't Release Vote Counts Until November 5th

 

              The state of Nevada said it needed more time to count its ballots. “Just give us a couple days,” those in charge of processing and tallying the state’s votes said. “We know we’re not a very populous state, but this is kinda hard.” Last I heard they only had, at most, a couple hundred thousand votes to tally up.

              Some states seem to be able to count all their votes— many millions of them in some cases—in relatively short order, letting us know the final numbers just hours after their polling places closed. Others aren’t so fast. But, Nevada? The state exists because of its extraordinary ability to conjure, proffer, and tabulate staggering quantities of cash and transactions. From Vegas to Reno, numerical and money odds are precisely ginned up—and just as precisely adjusted in real time—on everything from college and pro sports to horse racing to awards shows to the number of times the president will say “no one has ever seen anything like it before” in a single rally speech. The silver state’s casinos exchange and count millions and millions-- perhaps billions--  of dollars in cash and chips every day…to the penny.

              And it requests extra time to count a few thousand ballots?

              This is like Boston claiming it needs more time to figure out how to bake beans, or Nebraska saying it forgot how to raise corn…or California wondering how to raise taxes. As Joe Biden himself might say, “C’mon Man!”

              In reality, we can be pretty sure the state wanted to wait to release its count until after the races in Wisconsin and Michigan were called, likely leaving Biden needing exactly 6 more electoral votes to win the election. Oddly enough, the very number of electoral votes Nevada awards!

              But, let’s be credulous and assume the state really needed the extra time to accurately count its relative handful of ballots. That said, it needs an updated state motto. I suggest one of the following:

              “Nevada, We Don’t Count…Very Well.”

              “Nevada, What Are The Odds?”

              “Nevada, We’re Not Very Good With Numbers.”

              Or, perhaps more appropriate, “Remember: Don’t Bet Against The House.”