Media Declares Biden Winner of 2024 Presidential Election
Virtually all important media
outlets have now called the 2024 U.S. Presidential Election for Joe Biden. Fox
News CEO Suzanne Scott said, “Look, deep down we realize that we can’t actually
determine the outcome of a national election, as that is up to the Electoral College
on Dec. 14th and subject to certification on Dec. 23rd,
but it’s going really well so far. Most people—and even institutions-- haven’t
really questioned us concerning our 2020 call for Biden, so we thought, ‘what
the hey, right?’ I mean, most people don’t have much patience or attention span
anyway, and they like things resolved quickly, one way or another.”
NBCUniversal News Group Chairman Cesar Conde added, “And, frankly, we just like
Biden’s policies better than any jack-booted, Christianity-besotted
Republican’s. So there!”
Several potential 2024 Republican
candidates subsequently issued statements saying they were in the process of
determining whether they would honor the media’s early call or risk facing
sharp attacks from progressives if they were to contest the decision. As Jeb
Bush noted, “No one likes to be branded a ‘fascist democracy-hater.’”
Scott stated that, in the interests
of “probity and an abundance of caution,” no major news outlet has yet called
the 2028 election.
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