Senate Minority Leader Chuck
Schumer (D.-N.Y.) took to the Senate floor recently (after voting “present” on
the Green New Deal) to issue some shocking statements about climate change.
After averring that man-made climate change was real, Cryin’ Chuck stated: “The
terrible kinds of disaster—flooding,
tornadoes, and wildfires—that we have had will continue.”
He went on to predict that
“hurricanes will still hit the gulf coast on occasion,” and that “thunderstorms
will be prevalent this summer across most of the United States.” He noted that
he expects the sun to “continue rising in the east and setting in the west” and
added that he thinks “death and taxes will continue unabated.”
Such bold predictions unsettled
some of his fellow Senators and prompted Mazie Hirono (D-Hawaii) to ask if
Schumer “was clairvoyant…or at least had special powers.” Senator Schumer
replied that he has always thought he had ESP and could see himself as a seer
after his Senate career is over, adding, “though not with the whole crystal
ball thing.”
Taking advantage of the Senator’s apparent
gift, several of his comrades asked the latter-day Nostradamus to make some
more predictions right then and there on the Senate floor, a request to which
Schumer graciously complied. The following is a partial listing of his
additional predictions:
*”The Golden State Warriors will
make it to the NBA championship this year.”
*The New England Patriots will “be
in the mix” for a Super Bowl appearance this coming season.
*”President Trump will continue
making intemperate tweets.”
*”Democrats will continue trying to
obstruct Trump’s agenda and force him from office.”
*”There will be long-term
volatility in the stock market.”
*Despite his recent troubles,
“Biden will continue to come up behind women, place his hands on their
shoulders, and smell their hair.”
*”Kathy Griffin will continue to be
unfunny.’”
*Generalissimo Francisco Franco
“will continue to be dead.”
*”Generally speaking, in the
future, due to man-caused climate change, it will be harder to see at night
than in the daytime.”
*”Technology will continue to play
a roll in people’s lives in the future, both for the better and for the worse.”
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