Saturday, April 27, 2019

"Extinction Rebellion" Protests Climate Change

                A group called “Extinction Rebellion” has taken to the streets of London, along with others, to protest climate change for the past two weeks. These protests have resulted in nearly 1,100 arrests, according to the BBC. One female member of Extinction Rebellion was so swept up in the protest that she glued her breasts to Fleet Street outside of Golden Sacks Goldman Sachs. Police eventually surrounded the woman and unstuck her from the asphalt, after erecting screens to protect her modesty. (Correct me if I’m wrong, but this doesn’t seem to have been a serious concern to her). The officers eventually led the topless troublemaker away from the street. Assumedly after “busting” her. (Sorry).
                But she wasn’t the only one to affix a body part to something—or someone—else. Authorities apparently carried away seven other paste-loving people who had glued themselves to one another—and to a wall of the London Stock Exchange. Must’ve been a sticky situation. (Sorry).
                The protesters were sporting signs warning of the impending “climate emergency.” If they were gluing themselves to the road, a wall and each other, I’d say they were in the throes of a mental health emergency. One protester said the demonstrators chose to protest outside the London Stock Exchange because those inside are “making millions, even billions, of pounds out of trading ecological destruction.” I’m sure the protesters all refuse to use any of the goods and services those companies provide. Yeah, right. (They’re probably like my leftist neighbors, who, when the power went out a couple years ago, panicked and ran an industrial-length extension cord across four adjoining lots to a large external generator on a neighbor’s property…without permission. The same people who carry a reusable hemp bag to the grocery store and lecture us on our carbon footprint and meat consumption were unable to stomach the thought of not being at full electrical power capacity for an unknown period of time).
                Extinction Rebellion issued a statement averring that, due to their protest, “a space for truth-telling has been opened up in the world.” Really? Well, I’ll fill that space with the truth now: Extinction Rebellion and the other protesters are just a bunch of hypocritical boobs that have come unglued.
                Maybe the Brits will rename Fleet Street “Mammary Lane.”

    In closing, let me just say I believe I’ve milked this topic for all it’s worth.

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