A group called “Extinction Rebellion” has taken to the
streets of London, along with others, to protest climate change for the past
two weeks. These protests have resulted in nearly 1,100 arrests, according to
the BBC. One female member of Extinction
Rebellion was so swept up in the protest that she glued her breasts to
Fleet Street outside of Golden Sacks Goldman Sachs. Police eventually
surrounded the woman and unstuck her from the asphalt, after erecting screens
to protect her modesty. (Correct me if I’m wrong, but this doesn’t seem to have
been a serious concern to her). The officers eventually led the topless
troublemaker away from the street. Assumedly after “busting” her. (Sorry).
But she
wasn’t the only one to affix a body part to something—or someone—else. Authorities
apparently carried away seven other paste-loving people who had glued
themselves to one another—and to a wall of the London Stock Exchange. Must’ve
been a sticky situation. (Sorry).
The
protesters were sporting signs warning of the impending “climate emergency.” If
they were gluing themselves to the
road, a wall and each other, I’d say they were in the throes of a mental health emergency. One protester
said the demonstrators chose to protest outside the London Stock Exchange
because those inside are “making millions, even billions, of pounds out of
trading ecological destruction.” I’m sure the protesters all refuse to use any
of the goods and services those companies provide. Yeah, right. (They’re
probably like my leftist neighbors, who, when the power went out a couple years
ago, panicked and ran an industrial-length extension cord across four adjoining
lots to a large external generator on a neighbor’s property…without permission.
The same people who carry a reusable hemp bag to the grocery store and lecture us on our carbon footprint and meat consumption
were unable to stomach the thought of not being at full electrical power
capacity for an unknown period of time).
Extinction
Rebellion issued a statement averring that, due to their protest, “a space for
truth-telling has been opened up in the world.” Really? Well, I’ll fill that
space with the truth now: Extinction Rebellion and the other protesters are
just a bunch of hypocritical boobs that have come unglued.
Maybe
the Brits will rename Fleet Street “Mammary Lane.”
In closing, let me just say I
believe I’ve milked this topic for all it’s worth.
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