Scientists with Brazil’s Mata Ciliar project, in partnership
with those at the Center for Conservation and Research of Endangered Wildlife
(CREW) based at the Cincinnati Zoo and Botanical Gardens in the United States,
finally successfully artificially inseminated a female jaguar late last year.
The glowing mother, Bianca (get it?), is one of five female jaguars that were
selected to be inseminated due to their good health, age, suitability for
reproduction, and “favorable behavior.”
Several attempts have been made at
artificially inseminating the big cats over the past few years, all to no
avail.
Until now.
Bianca gave birth to a beautiful,
healthy, female cub on February 16th, the
first jaguar baby ever born via artificial insemination. Veterinarians
hailed the birth as a scientific breakthrough, a giant step towards insuring
the survival of this endangered species.
Two days later, Bianca ate her cub.
Immediately after that, Democrats
hailed Bianca, praising her for her courageous pro-choice and after-birth
abortion stance. Several top Democrats went so far as to ask the big cat if
she’d like to run for state office in California or New York. Bianca is a
highly attractive, intersectional candidate for today’s Democratic Party, and
its radically progressive, Millennial base. She is a multi-colored, pro-choice, agnostic, young female, who is a member
of an actually endangered species!
What’s more, since she wasn’t already pregnant, and had to be artificially
inseminated, there is some hope that she may also be a lesbian.
Bianca has yet to respond to the
Democrats solicitation, but various progressive groups claim they have already
raised over thirteen million dollars in support of a possible bid for her to
replace Republican Doug LaMalfa in California’s 1st District on
January 3rd, 2021. Several GoFundMe pages have also been set up in
the big predator’s name.
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