We're Having A Theyby!

                A recent nbcnews.com article chronicled the increasingly common practice of American parents raising their children “outside traditional gender norms.”  This doesn’t just entail letting boys and girls play with the same toys or wear the same clothes. That is old hat, traditional. These parents do not reveal the sex of their children to anyone. Not even their children. Ever.

                The post says that, though the kids “are aware of their own body parts and how they may differ from others,” they “are not taught to associate those body parts with being a boy or a girl.” What could be less relevant? “If no one knows a child’s sex, these parents theorize, the child can’t be pigeonholed into gender stereotypes.” (I don’t like the word “pigeonholed.” I think it pigeonholes both pigeons and holes. It’s nothing more than stereotypical stereotyping).

                In the past few years, some couples in the U.S. and Canada have raised their offspring, typically given names like “Storm” and “Zoomer,” without gender designation. I have an idea. If you’re not going to “assign” a gender to your child at birth, DON’T “ASSIGN” IT A NAME, EITHER! Let it pick that, too, for the love of God. Do we really think it’s a good thing to have, say, a 12-year-old meet someone and state: “Hi, I’m Zoomer and I have a penis but don’t associate it with any particular gender or behavior?”

                What are these progressive parents calling their little ones? “Theybies.” As in, “This is my theyby, isn’t they cute?!” Theybies, babies, scabies, rabies…..it’s all the same. Progressives hold vagueness and imprecision in high regard.

                The NBC article stated that Christia Spears Brown, a developmental psychologist, believes “research suggests gender is largely influenced by a child’s environment.” She must not have children. Is race largely determined by environment, too? Experts also claim that boy’s and girl’s brains are virtually indistinguishable at birth. Which is a meaningless observation. Other parts of them are clearly distinguishable at birth, thank God. No one is claiming that boys are smarter than girls or vice-versa. Let’s stay on point here experts. The article states that experts do agree, however, that “girls tend to speak a few months earlier than boys, though it’s not understood why.” It did not point out that they keep talking and talking and……just kidding, gals. Put down the pitchforks.

                Brown added: “But in general, the differences get larger as kids get older, which really suggests that it’s society and culture that are shaping the differences that we see—not innate differences from birth.” Actually, it really suggests she’s an idiot. What else gets larger when the children get older, Dr. Brown? Their genitalia. And, in the case of girls—and Michael Moore—their breasts. Ever hear of hormones?

                Brown also said parents can “explain to their children that there is more than one way to be a boy or girl.” Just as there is more than one way to be black or Latino.

                Some of the parents who have assigned a non-binary gender to their innocent kids say they wish to encourage them to explore and determine where they fall in their own time. No guidance, no pressure. Explore early and often. No taboos!

                Ari Dennis, one of the parents referenced in the piece, has a 5-month-old theybe named Sparrow, and said he is careful to describe Sparrow with both masculine and feminine adjectives. He said, “I just call my baby ‘beautiful’ and ‘pretty’ and ‘handsome’ and ‘strong,’ back and forth, I’ll use both, and I’ll compliment different manifestations of personality traits.” That certainly won’t be confusing.

                Dennis added, “In my opinion, assigning your child a gender and giving them gender-coded lessons their whole life is much more coercive than what we do.” Sorry, Dennis. Gender is assigned by the One Great Author, not by you, your partner, or the doctor or nurse that delivered your child. Attempting to deny that is coercive. Why don’t we also let our kids decide what their race and ethnicity are? And, why stop there? Why not let them determine their age and species, too?

                Only 0.6 percent of adults in the United States identify as transgender. The Facebook page for those with “theybies” has less than 300 followers. A Facebook page for blonde, lesbian Muslim nude-beach aficionados would have more followers.

                None-the-less, don’t be surprised if, when you next ask a pregnant woman what she’s having, she replies: “a theybe, if I decide to keep it.”