Cue up John Williams’ “Olympic
Fanfare and Theme,” competitive video gaming may be an official Olympic
sport as soon as the 2020 Summer Games in Tokyo, Japan. It is almost certain to
be a part of the Games of the XXXIII Olympiad to take place in Paris in 2024. I
don’t know about you, but I’ve already got goose bumps.
Gayle
Dickie, CEO of Gamer World News Entertainment, recently stated that the
International Olympic Committee (IOC) is considering adding “eSports” in order
to attract younger viewers. Dickie told FOX Business Network: “I think
including these sports by 2024 would be a fantastic idea not only for the
country of France, but for the world in terms of increased revenue and
advertising.” She said that Olympic Games “viewership is down 24 percent in the
18-49 demos,” adding that, with 2.2 billion “gamers” throughout the world, the
addition of competitive video gaming will substantially increase viewership of
the summer games.
Why add
them to the summer games? Wouldn’t it make more sense to attach them to the
winter games? If it’s 22 degrees below zero out, staying inside and
binge-gaming is almost excusable. If you don’t have a job.
The
original Olympiads were a platform to showcase human fitness and the beauty of
a toned, healthy body and what it could do when properly molded and motivated.
Is this in keeping with that idea?
I
shouldn’t be skeptical. What could be more thrilling than watching a 27-year-old
man from Chicago, Illinois, who lives in his mother’s basement and spends 11
hours a day playing Grand Theft Auto and stuffing his face with Cheetos compete
with an acne-faced youngster from the suburbs of Paris to see who is better at
handling his joystick?
I think
the IOC should have three separate entries for eSports: a “Classic” division, a
“Modern” division and an “Actual Sports” division. Those athletes competing in
the Classic division would play “Pong,” “Asteroids,” and “Pac-Man.” (“Ms. Pac Man”
might be better to placate the #MeToo types…as if any might be watching). Those
battling it out in the modern division would be playing games such as Pokémon,
League of Legends, Call of Duty, Counterstrike and Minecraft. The Actual Sports
division would see teams competing in games such as the legendary Sega Genesis
NHL ’94, Golden Tee Golf, Big Buck Hunter II, and Madden NFL 2024.
The drama! The pageantry! Imagine,
if you can, Team Uruguay facing off with Team Croatia in a heated game of Sonic
the Hedgehog or Super Mario Brothers! Or Japan and Mozambique engaged in a
pitched battle of Angry Birds or Star-craft 2. It doesn’t get any better than
that. The thrill of virtual victory versus the agony of faux defeat!
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