Pride!

                I have had it with how obnoxiously, in-your-face “proud” many sexual-orientation and gender-confused fringe groups have become lately. Everyone but heterosexuals in a committed marriage is openly, blatantly, stupendously “PROUD!” of their particular quirk and group. Equality under the law is one thing, but demanding to be elevated and worshipped for one’s personal kink is entirely another.

                Ted Hickman, Vice Mayor of Dixon, California, recently called for a “Straight Pride American Month,”……prompting many to call for his immediate resignation. Why can’t straight people be proud? I mean, we are responsible for creating human life, including the lives of those in the LGBTQ community. What is so wrong with that?

                We just celebrated gay pride month. Lesbians, gays, bisexuals, transgenders, the questioning, etc., are all swelled up with pride. Can’t the rest of us feel good about ourselves, too?

                Every day one hears and reads about people—or their relatives—who are PROUD! of their proclivities. So proud, they just can’t keep it to themselves. We hear fathers say, “My daughter was incorrectly assigned a male gender at birth, but she identifies as a female now. And, she is a lesbian! I am so proud of her!” Or, “My son screws goats. I’m fairly bursting with pride! Up the ass. I Couldn’t be any prouder! Some people talk about ‘getting one’s goat’…my son actually does. Truly, so proud!” Perhaps, “My daughter is one of seven wives. She lives in Utah. Her husband showers her with affection one night a week. I’ve never been prouder!” How about, “My mom masturbates three times a day, every day. That’s so cool. She does it while watching dwarf incest porn. And, like, I’m so proud! I really don’t think I could be any prouder!”

                We’re going to have to add on to the LGBTQIIAA acronym. It is not nearly inclusive enough. How about LGBTQIIAABPM? Who wouldn’t be PROUD! of that?

                However, we all know there’s one group of people who not only shouldn’t be allowed to be proud, but should be (and are) ritually and permanently shamed, shunned and threatened: Trump supporters. They are sick. We know this in part by how many folks say they’d rather their son or daughter dated a gang-rapist/Satan worshipper/mass-murderer/Llama than a Trump supporter.

                Trump supporters? Shameful. Everyone else? Pass the lube.

                So proud!