Monday, July 16, 2018

I'm With Her?

                “Well, I’ll tell you, I’ve been back there listening to Randi and I’m so exhausted, I can barely stand here.”
                That’s how the ever-electric Hillary Clinton opened her speech to the American Federation of Teachers in Pittsburgh recently. What a leader! That ought to fire up her base as she prepares for yet another run at the presidency! What quality is more important in a president than the tendency to be easily exhausted?
                That’s correct! Sheer bitterness, rank entitlement and laughable hypocrisy! After receiving the union’s Women’s Rights Award—and pointing out how tired she was-- she launched into a diatribe lamenting how oppressed she has been throughout her life. She noted: “When I was growing up, there were scholarships I couldn’t get, colleges I couldn’t attend, jobs I couldn’t apply for just because I was a girl.” (Now we can say that about conservatives).
                She then remarked, “It wasn’t so very long ago that classified ads were divided into ‘help wanted dash male,’ and ‘help wanted dash female.’” (And it wasn’t long ago that bathrooms were divided into ‘male’ and ‘female,’ either). Before turning to attacks on all things Trumpian, she bizarrely criticized girls half-court basketball, whining that “They wouldn’t let us run on the full court.” (Think how tired she would’ve been if ‘they’ did).
                The staggeringly oppressed former First Lady and Secretary of State of the United States of America then started in on baseless attacks on the Trump administration and evil Republicans in general, saying: “They’ve gutted funding for schools and universities.” (In light of what universities are teaching now, I wish that were true).
                She said: “They want to turn us into transactional units,” and claimed that Trump supporters want a “man-eat-man, woman-eat-woman” society. (No, that would be the LGBTQ community).
                Waxing ever more preposterous, she asserted: “They are trying to rip the heart out of America” and “They want to turn us against each other.” (They? They? They! You are the one doing the demonizing and dividing, Hillary).
Averring that “The stakes could not be higher” she actually said, “You know, I used to worry that they wanted to turn the clock back to the 1950s. Now I worry they want to turn it back to the 1850s.”
The unionists applauded wildly.

What if former presidents had had Hillary’s personality and world-view?

Ronald Reagan at the Brandenburg Gate:

“Thank you very much. Chancellor Kohl, Governing Mayor Diepgen, ladies and gentlemen: I have an appeal to General Secretary Gorbachev, but first, I’ve gotta tell you how exhausted I am. I can barely stand here. As most of you know, I had an alcoholic father, and…”

FDR after the attack on Pearl Harbor:

 “Yesterday, December 7, 1941—a date which….but first of all, I’ve gotta tell you, I’m so exhausted I can barely speak. And, you know, I’m confined to a wheelchair through no fault of my own, so…”

Abraham Lincoln at Gettysburg:

 “First off, let me tell you all, I’m so tired I can barely stand here. And, I grew up in a one-room log cabin with a dirt floor. No one can say I didn’t have it rough, that I didn’t sacrifice. But, the world will probably little note, nor long remember that fact. So, if I don’t make it through this speech, I’m sure you’ll understand. (Unionists applauded wildly). Anyway: Four score and seven years ago…”

No comments:

Post a Comment