Wednesday, August 1, 2018

Donkeys Disappearing From Venezuela


                Not so long ago, Venezuela was the richest nation in its region. Flush with natural resources and possessing massive oil reserves. And donkeys. Lots and lots of donkeys. A few short years ago, there were so many donkeys roaming the Venezuelan state of Falcón that they caused highway accidents and blocked airport runways.
                The oil is still there, but the donkeys are gone. Their numbers have shrunk dramatically as countless thousands of them have been slaughtered for their meat by starving Venezuelans. The government’s Socialist-Marxist policies have forced much of the country’s population to pick through garbage and slaughter domestic animals to keep from starving to death.
                Quite the irony: Democrats in the economically robust U.S. are rapidly embracing Socialists and the very same ruinous policies that destroyed once prosperous Venezuela. If there was any justice—or intelligence-- in the world, the Donkey Party would go the way of the poor donkeys in Venezuela.
                Crude oil sales once accounted for roughly 96% of the nation’s revenue, but the industry has collapsed since the government took it over. Things have gotten so bad that the country has even considered importing oil to refine in an attempt to fulfill the contracts of PDVSA, the state-run oil company.
                Wrap your minds around this fact, if you can: the country with the largest oil reserves on Earth is considering importing oil. This is the perfect illustration of Socialism and a state-controlled, planned economy. And the mule-headed asses in the Democratic Party nod their approval. Stupefying.
                Even Venezuelan President Nicollás Maduro finally admitted that his economic agenda hasn’t worked out as planned. Speaking to the Congress of Venezuela’s ruling United Socialist Party on July 30th, he said: “The production models we’ve tried so far have failed and the responsibility is ours, mine and yours.” It’s definitely his.
                The International Monetary Fund is predicting that the inflation rate in Venezuela will reach 1 million percent by the end of the year, people are eating donkeys and he says, “The production models we’ve tried so far have failed?” That’s like the captain of the Titanic saying, “Sorry to inconvenience you, but…”
                Maduro said that he still intends to make his country an economic power. He added, “No more whining. I want solutions comrades!” How about getting the effing government out of the way, undoing everything you’ve done and letting businesses make a profit? Let Trumpian policies Make Venezuela Great Again, too!
                But, sadly, Maduro expressed hope that his agenda would eventually turn the economy around. He said, “I estimate it will take about two years to reach a high level of stability and see the first symptoms of new and economic prosperity, without for one second affecting security and protection.” Symptoms of prosperity? “Without for one second affecting security and protection?” If you’re not willing to cut entitlement spending, Nicollás, there is no way Venezuela can ever recover.
                Venezuela’s Socialist rulers are forcing those they govern to eat donkeys, the symbol of today’s ever-more radical Democratic Party. What a delicious irony. You know Socialist leaders will never eat crow.
                Jackasses.

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