Saturday, July 28, 2018

Paris Jackson, Proudly Pansexual, Poses Topless

                Paris Jackson (the daughter of Michael Jackson and Debbie Rowe) recently clarified that she is not, in fact, bisexual, but is, in fact, proudly pansexual. Via social media she stated, “I don’t label myself, so don’t label me. I just love people for people.” A wondrously inclusive statement, that. How tragically repressed would one have to be to limit oneself to having sex with just males and females?
                The dictionary defines bisexual as: “sexually attracted to both men and women.” It defines pansexual as: “not limited or inhibited in sexual choice with regard to gender or activity.” Probably could’ve guessed the “not inhibited” part.
                The rigid, non-inclusive, traditional old bisexual fuddy-duddyies tend to be okay with the concept of two genders, whereas pansexuals are far more hip and welcoming, willing and eager to sleep with males, females, transgenders, all other non-binaries…and anyone else on Earth.
                Some of her dad’s song titles seem applicable here: “The Way You Make Me Feel,” “Love Never Felt So Good!” “Thriller,” and “Beat It,” among them. (Feel free to piece together your own jokes).
                Paris, 20, who literally has more tattoos than teeth, was also recently featured in a new fashion campaign for Re/Done+Weejuns, in which she poses topless, one of a revamped line of penny loafers from the Weejun’s Collection partially covering her petite breasts.
                There will, I’m sure, be symmetry when she poses with bare feet for a new line of bras in the near future.

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