Illinois lawmakers are considering a bill that would force
public schools to add a gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender section to
history courses, according to the Chicago
Tribune. Schools would also be required to use textbooks that portray the LGBTQ
community as an integral part of a properly diverse society. Naturally, LGBTQ
advocates are pushing hard to see that the measure comes to fruition. Opponents
of the proposed bill believe such decisions should be made at the local level,
not through state government, and that those who hold traditional Christian
views are being ignored.
Some
advocates of the measure say that like-minded students are being deprived of
the role models they deserve, and that children should have a “full
understanding” of the historic figures they learn about in school. The plan has
already won preliminary approval from both the House and Senate committees, the
Tribune’s report said, and is expected to be debated further in the coming
weeks.
An
anonymous source supplied me with a copy of an American History textbook that
would be approved going forward if the bill should pass. Duty compels me to
share a few excerpts from this tome. First up, an excerpt from the
Constitutional Convention in 1787, a months-long meeting that took place in
Philadelphia’s Independence Hall:
General Washington pranced into the room,
saying, “Boooys? Who’s ready for a little gaiety? Oooh, Mr. Hamilton, your
outfit is to die for! I don’t know about the rest of you fellows, but I could
use a little Mr. Hancock about now…tee-hee!”
Ben Franklin, sage of the age, rose slowly and
replied, “Well, George, you know what I’ve always said: ‘Early to bed and early
to rise’…if you know what I mean, big guy.”
And here is a
snippet recounting the making of the first American flag:
Betsy Ross was widely credited with making the
first American flag in 1776, though this is now a matter of some dispute among
historians. What is not in doubt, is that she was a non-binary, transgender
woman. Ms. Ross alternately identified as Betsy Ross and Ross Betsy depending
on her gender identity at any given time, which was quite fluent indeed. Ms.
Ross is believed to have sewn the first LGBTQ flag in 1779. Ross, born in 1752,
apparently identified as gender-fluid from a young age, but stayed in the
proverbial ‘closet’ (along with many other historical figures) until 1778, as
society was insufficiently welcoming to those outside the arbitrarily rigid
gender norms of the day.
Asked by Patrick Henry why she decided to come
out, she replied: “Seeing the ‘Stars & Stripes’ and the Gadsden ‘Don’t
Tread on Me’ flags flying so proudly, I thought to myself, ‘let your own freak
flag fly, Betsy!’”
I’m sure it won’t
be long until the Illinois legislature praises Swarthmore University and
introduces a bill requiring all Sunday-schools in the state to include that
school’s “Queering the Bible” course in their instruction plans.
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