The Dictionary Of Progressive Expressions

Selections from the Dictionary of Progressive Expressions (or DOPE; also known as the Dictionary of Leftist Terms, or DOLT):

*”conservative:” troglodyte

*”constitutional:” things clearly legal, allowed because progressives like them

*”controversial:” anything that progressives don’t entirely agree with

*”diversity:” having more of the kind of people progressives like; this allows for partial, temporary bans on the participation by— or existence of-- straight white males

*”endangered species:” any of many valuable life forms threatened by capitalism’s rampant exploitation of our mother, the Earth; what progressives hope to make Donald Trump, Ted Cruz, and anyone to the right of Mao Zedong

*”equality:” arbitrarily, unjustly infringing on the rights of others to make up for real or perceived injustices those-- or other-- others may or may not have committed in the past

*”fairness:” arbitrarily taking from those who have more and giving to those who have less, regardless of the reason(s) for the discrepancy

*”far-right Republican:” any politician or citizen that isn’t pro-abortion, doesn’t believe there are innumerable genders, isn’t anti-gun, and does not want the federal government to provide total,  holistic cradle-to-grave care, including free contraception and sex toys, to citizens and illegal aliens alike

*”gender:” a bizarre, useless—and unknowable-- construct of the fading white, male patriarchy; there are now at least 63 recognized genders, though true progressives know that there are, as with  snowflakes, an infinite number of genders. Remember, no two genders are alike!

*”hate speech:” anything that progressives don’t agree with

*”inclusiveness:” the idea that any entity, club, organization, gathering or group must be comprised of exactly the same ratio of races, sexes, creeds, ethnicities, religions, sexual orientations, and gender identities as the population as a whole. If this is impossible, then at least half of the entity, club, organization, gathering or group should be comprised of members of the LGBTQIA community.

*”marginalization:” the hurt inflicted on minorities by the unwillingness of many straight, white males to admit that people of color and members of the LGBTQIA community are superior to themselves in every respect

*”microagression:” an indirect, subtle, possibly unintentional statement, action, or incident considered to be potentially offensive or discriminatory to a marginalized and protected group, excluding white, heterosexual, Christian males. (for example, offering to let an African-American share your bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken)

*”moderate Democrat:” Bernie Sanders

*”progressive:” a person who is exalted, superior, elite… if they do say so themselves; they sometimes think, “if there was a God, we would be Her Chosen Ones”

*”spending cut:” slightly reducing the rate of increase in spending on something progressives like (also known as “slashing spending,” and “dismantling a program”

*”tolerance:” absolute acceptance of any thing, act, belief, or behavior, no matter how vile or destructive, including the absolute intolerance of any thing, act, belief, or behavior with which one disagrees, especially traditional ones.

*”triggers:” things that cause progressives to faint and/or cry out in anguish and/or run for the nearest safe house; almost anything (for example: the Ten Commandments, the Stars and Stripes, “Duck Dynasty,” the word “Trump,” Ben Shapiro, expectations, Chick-fil-a, firearms, one-gender bathrooms…)

*”unconstitutional:” things clearly illegal, not allowed because progressives do not like them

*”your truth:” can be any belief whatsoever, especially if it’s demonstrably untrue