President Biden recently implied that
his uncle, Second Lt. Ambrose J. Finnegan Jr., was eaten by cannibals after being shot down over Papua New
Guinea in World War II. Biden, who has repeatedly made outrageous claims about
himself and his family, suggested that his uncle was devoured by the island
nation’s residents during a recent speech to a steelworkers’ union in
Pittsburgh. What a suave and astute statesman!
For
some reason, Papua New Guinea Prime Minister James Marape has since noted that
he was offended by President Biden’s insinuation that one of his beloved clan was
consumed by Marape’s people. Talk about being thin-skinned!
I
picture a meeting in the very near future between the Biden administration and
Prime Minister Marape’s minions:
Biden: “I am very
happy to be in, uh, Pappy, New England-- and just let me say, my uncle was
eaten by your predecessors. No, true story!”
Marape: “Well,
Mr. President, I’m sure he didn’t die in vain. In fact, I’m told we ate all of
him, including the scalp and bones. Wasted nothing!”
Biden: “Good
to hear, Prime Meridian, uh—um-- Minister…Me Rape!”
Marape: “Yes.
And, as a goodwill gesture, you can see I have an agreement in my hands for
both of us to sign, committing our nations to not eating each other’s citizens
from this moment forward. No matter how delicious they may be. Surely this is
an agreement we both can live with.”
Biden: “Excellent!
That reminds me of a time…when…uh…when…um…well, never mind. By the way, what’s
for dinner? And where is Hunter? Hunter? HUNTER?”
{FADE}
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