California The New Venezuela?

            

            A member of the Venezuelan National Assembly recently posted a photo on Twitter. The picture showed people riding donkeys through the streets of a Venezuelan city, a not uncommon practice now due to chronic gasoline shortages caused by policies the country’s socialist regime has put in place.

Piero Maroun, of the socialist Democratic Action Party, sadly admitted: “Venezuelans are now centuries behind, riding donkeys, burning firewood, and sleeping in the dark. The setback is so great that in the days of slavery, slaves earned what they needed to eat every day, and here a day’s salary doesn’t even buy breakfast.”

Making the situation even more embarrassing—and preposterous— is the fact that Venezuela has the largest proven oil reserves of any nation in the world. Yet, Petróleos de Venezuela, S.A. (Petroleum of Venezuela in English, or PDVSA), the state-run oil company, is now producing about 542,000 barrels a day, about 18% of what it did in 2000.

In related news, California’s Democratic Gov. Gavin Newsome recently announced that he has signed an executive order banning the sale of all internal combustion automobiles by 2035. The state has already proven unable or unwilling to provide a steady source of electricity to its residents, who have been subject to frequent and lengthy “rolling blackouts.” Soon, denizens of the erstwhile Land of Milk and Honey will not be able to own a gas-powered car.

An anonymous source close to the governor says that Newsome is hoping residents will purchase “horse and buggy conveyances” when-- and if--  they are allowed to travel pending future lockdowns. The source added that the governor believes his order will “be a boon to the state’s horseshoers, blacksmiths and farriers.”

Since the onset of the blackouts, it has not always been possible for Californians to flush their toilets more than once in a given time period, resulting in an explosion of outhouses adjoining people’s homes. Newsome, the source said, will shortly announce a subsidy for those who purchase a Port-a-Potty, Satellite, or materials for constructing an outhouse. The program will be accompanied by a publicity campaign with Newsome saying: “I am doing my duty to help you do your duty.”

Newsome also allegedly wants to bring back hand-held fans in lieu of air-conditioners and crank-driven Victrolas in place of electricity-consuming stereo systems. Additionally, he is encouraging residents to buy chickens…and not get too fond of their pets.