Tyrolean officials are warning people to stop French kissing
cows.
I must
say, I never thought I would have reason to write that sentence. But it is, in
fact, true.
The
Swiss app Castl created the phenomena by promoting its “Cow
Kiss Challenge.” Castl has been encouraging people in Switzerland, Austria,
and Germany to kiss cows, “with or without tongues,” for charity. “Snogging”
cows, to use the British term, has apparently become all the rage in Austria,
prompting politicians and farming officials to warn bovine bussers that they
could be endangering the animals—and themselves— with their indiscriminate
smooching. Many people have been filmed going into paddocks, or randomly
approaching cows before laying a big, wet one on the baffled bovines.
What’s
the next “challenge?” The next frontier? Blowing into mountain goat’s ears?
Giving steers a hand job?
Josef
Kossler, Tyrol’s state veterinary director, said that approaching cows looking
after their calves could be “very dangerous,” going so far as to state that the
“KuhKussChallenge” could lead to someone getting trampled to death. Tyrolean
Chamber of Agriculture president Josef Hechenberger told Kurier: “The fact that our animals should be used for
social media hype, I think, is very questionable, especially with regard to
possible injuries.” Herr Hechenberger cautioned people to avoid engaging in the
strange but trendy activity and urged those behind it to “rethink this
project.” Austrian agricultural minister Elisabeth Kostinger took to Twitter to
say: “Actions like these are dangerous nonsense. I have not the slightest
understanding for a challenge of this kind!"
You and me
both, Ms. Kostinger.
She added, “Pastures are not petting
zoos. Mother cows protect their calves and become aggressive if you do not
behave properly.” As well they should. #MeTooMoo.
The cows have to be thinking, “It’s
not enough that they’re pulling on our teats all the time, now they want to
take the relationship to another level! Lord knows where their mouths have
been! At least bring me a bottle of wine or a Hallmark card!”
The hills are alive with the
sound of “moo-sic”
With songs they have sung for a thousand years
The hills fill my heart with the sound of moo-sic
My lips want to kiss every cow they near
With songs they have sung for a thousand years
The hills fill my heart with the sound of moo-sic
My lips want to kiss every cow they near
I go to the hills when my
heart is lonely
I know I will hear what I've heard before
My heart will be blessed with the sound of moo-sic
And I'll snog a cow once more
I know I will hear what I've heard before
My heart will be blessed with the sound of moo-sic
And I'll snog a cow once more
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