Saturday, May 25, 2019

Talking Socialism With Bernie Sanders And AOC

                                            “Talkin’ Socialism with Bernie and AOC!”

May 29, 2019

Voiceover: “Good evening and welcome to today’s program. Today, Bernie Sanders, an Independent Senator from Vermont and 2020 Democratic presidential candidate, and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Democratic U.S. Representative from New York’s 14th district, talk about socialism and the issues of the day. The program runs about 10 minutes and is commercial free. Enjoy…”

Bernie Sanders: …“As I was saying, Alex, breadlines are a good thing!”

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez: “That’s right, Bernie! And there will be a lot of them if the Green New Deal gets implemented! There’ll be, like, breadlines all over the effing place!”

BS: “That’s what I’m talkin’ about, baby doll! Eff the rich!”

AOC: “And lines for, like, potatoes, toilet paper, and everything else, too.”

BS: “Those are the best lines, actually!”

AOC: “My favorite lines are white and powdery!”

BS: “Ha, I gotcha, you go girl! Have a Coke and a smile we used to say!”

AOC: “But seriously, I wish there were breadlines in New York City. That’s why I chased Amazon away.”

BS: “I wish there were breadlines outside of all three of my homes. Especially my vacation home on Lake Champlain. That would be cool. Eff the rich!”

AOC: “What are some other good things, Bernie?”

BS: “Gas lines! Gas lines are very, very good things! And long waits for health care! These are signs that the rich don’t unduly influence a society!”

AOC: “And punitive taxation, redistribution, and rationing are, like, the keys to a healthy, vibrant, like, thriving society, right?”

BS: “Absof*ckinglutely, my dear. More good things!”

AOC: “Cow farts are bad, though!”

BS: “That they are. Do you mind if I pinch your nipples?”

AOC: “What the hell?”

BS: “Sorry! What I meant to say was: as long as no money goes to the rich, everything will be fine. All money should go to the poor.”

AOC: “I agree, but like, now, I’m like, getting all confused. If all money goes to the poor…won’t they be rich?”

BS: “No. The poor can’t be rich, just like people of color can’t be racist and straight white males can’t be discriminated against.”

AOC: “Cool, that makes me feel better! Thank you, Bernie!”

BS: “Don’t mention it, baby.”

AOC: “But how come everyone can’t be rich, Uncle Bernie?”

BS: “What the hell do I look like, an effing guru? Einstein? Nostradamus? I don’t know…probably 
the Jews fault.”  

AOC: “Probably.”

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