The “Me” generation has taken things to a new level, ushered in a brave new era. Speaking of ushers, the practice of “sologamy,” or marrying oneself, is now “a thing.” Finding that perfect person to share one’s life with has just become easier. Or has it? In days of yore, young people of both sexes were encouraged to look outward…to religion and spirituality for true happiness and meaning. Correspondingly, they looked outward for a partner who could complete them, be “their other half,” in a covenantal union that would unite masculine and feminine traits and bring about the miracle of life.
Today? Not so much. Why embark on a probably lengthy, fruitless search for that mythical perfect other and end up settling for someone who will cheat on you and leave the toilet seat up or down as the case may be? Maybe that perfect someone was with you all along. Maybe that perfect someone was…you. Why go through the grind of the dating scene? Why get used to someone else’s quirks when you are already used to your own? Marrying yourself is certainly less expensive then inviting someone else into your life, home and bedroom. And it most assuredly fits with today’s mores…or lack thereof, which are not about working hard to build a life together while sharing the best of times and the worst of times. Indeed, they are about avoiding anything one doesn’t find comforting. Pleasing oneself is in, pleasing others is a bit passé, so 1940s.
So let’s look in now at Pat, a real-life sologamist, and how she came to wed herself, shall we? Alright, take it away, Pat!
“Well, I was tired of the bar scene, and social media doesn’t do anything for me. Plus, I had been quite fond of myself for some time now. I mean, I thought I was very good looking-- smoking hot really-- so that helped. I have always been comfortable around myself, too. I just sort of hit it off with myself early on. Then, too, I realized that I can be any sex or gender I want now, at any time, so that helped. I was hoping for a while that I would ask myself to marry me. I’ve always loved to be around water, so, when I finally took myself to Niagara Falls, I had a little hunch. Just a faint hope, really. But, when I took myself out to dinner, I didn’t seem nervous at all. It felt like just a normal evening, and I began to lose hope. So, when I got down on one knee to propose to myself, I was super surprised! I was the happiest girl in the world!
“Of course, I had to sow some ‘wild oats’ after that. My bachelorette parties were crazy, I can promise you that! I can’t even tell you the things I saw! But the service was beautiful. I barely held it together when the minister said, ‘Do you take yourself to be your lawfully wedded partner, through sickness and in health? Do you promise to love and obey yourself until death do you part?’ Of course I said, ‘I do.’ (blushes). I can’t wait for my honeymoon!” (blushes again).
(See also my post of 10/15/2017, “Italian Woman Marries Herself”)