Desantis Attacked For Using The Word "Monkey"

               

                Florida’s sixth congressional district Representative Ron Desantis has been the target of savage, yet baseless, attacks from the usual suspects in the “mainstream media.” Desantis is in a heated race for the Florida governorship with Tallahassee mayor Andrew Gillum, who is black. Desantis called Gillum an “articulate spokesman” for “far-left views” during a recent interview, before imploring Florida voters not to “monkey this up” by electing him.

                Every sane person knows he was urging voters not to “screw” things up or “eff” things up (in the parlance of young leftists) by electing so radical a candidate and blowing up the economy. But progressives will grab hold of anything they think could be useful in branding conservatives as racist/sexist/homophobic/ transphobic/bestialityphobic/necrophiliaphobic/intolerant/bigoted bastards.

                Here are definitions of monkey:

Noun-

1.       a small to medium-sized primate that typically has a long tail, most kinds of which live in trees in tropical countries. (Desantis obviously didn’t mean this).

2.       a pile-driving machine consisting of a heavy hammer or ram working vertically in a groove. (Desantis obviously didn’t mean this, either, though Gillum probably would be proud of this characterization).

Verb-

(monkey around/about)

1.       behave in a silly or playful way. (There you have it).

  If the word “monkey”—at least as Desantis used it-- is a racist epithet, then words have no real meaning, apart from that which various groups wish to ascribe to them. And then chaos, confusion and conflict will reign.

         In the late 1960’s, during the Age of Aquarius, a rock band called The Monkees was popular. I have updated their theme song in honor of Ron Desantis:

         Here I come, walkin’

Down the street

I get the rudest looks

And the meanest tweets

Hey, hey, I said “monkey”

And people want to run me aground

But I’m too busy campaigning

To put anybody down

I go wherever I want to

Do what I like to do

Though their attacks are so feckless

There’s always something new

Hey, hey, I said monkey

And Gillum doesn’t want me around

But he’s too busy complaining

To say anything profound

I’m just tryin’ to be honest

Help me keep the hounds at bay

‘Cuz the younger generation

Would love to lock me away

Any time, or anywhere

Just look over your shoulder

Socialists will be there

I’m just tryin’ to be helpful

Preserve the American way

But the younger generation

Would love to lock me away

Hey, hey, I said monkey

Hey, hey, I said monkey

Hey, hey, I said monkey

Guess I’ll be seein’ ya’ ‘round

So you’d better get ready

‘Cuz they’ll soon be tearing you down

Hey, hey, I said “monkey”

As in please do not “monkey this up”

The left’s so busy complaining

Can’t we all grow the eff up?

Hey, hey, I said monkey

And people wanna kick me around

But I’m too busy campaigning

To put anybody down

Hey, hey, I said “monkey”