Willie Wilson, one of several Democrats who plan to run
against incumbent Mayor Rahm Emanuel in next year’s election, handed out $300,000 to roughly 2,000 worshippers at
a church on Chicago’s South Side on a recent Sunday morning, according to an
aide who spoke to WGN-TV. You can be sure the attendees now worship Wilson.
Talk
about buying votes! This is cutting out the middleman (government) and directly
greasing the palms of potential voters. Nothing incentivizes potential
Democratic voters like cold, hard cash. Except, perhaps, for promises of
unfettered abortion or free drugs. But, hell, cash can be used to pay for
either of those.
How did
Wilson, a wealthy businessman, get away with this obvious payola-themed scheme
to buy votes, since distributing cash is inappropriate, unethical, and
generally illegal for a candidate seeking public office? Easy. His campaign
manager, F. Scott Winslow, claimed the donations were legal because Wilson’s
passing out money was “absolutely not” a campaign event.
Of
course not. He was simply overcome by the desire to stroll pew to pew and hand
out hundreds of thousands of dollars in cash. Who among us hasn’t been gripped
by the same irresistible urge? Perhaps his campaign manager is F. Scott Fitzgerald, not F. Scott Winslow. Why
drop all those greenbacks into the collection plate when you can nestle them in
the appreciative grips of those that can help you out come November.
Hallelujah!
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