Friday, May 6, 2016

"Pet Relief Areas" Now Mandatory At Airports

News Services
New York City-

                In yet another remarkable restroom breakthrough, dogs and other animals now have a bathroom at John F. Kennedy International Airport in New York City. The poodle and pit bull privy is replete with artificial turf and a red fire hydrant. This is just one of several “pet relief facilities” to be installed at airports across the country, in order to allow the rapidly increasing numbers of “emotional support” animals and other pets traveling with their owners to relieve themselves in a comforting and inclusive manner- and without exiting the terminal.
                A new federal regulation stipulates that all airports serving more than 10,000 passengers per year must install a pet relief area by August of 2016. That means any airport seeing more than 28 flyers a day must have a pet-friendly bathroom facility on its premises. In other words, virtually all airports.
                This- on its face- is obviously wonderful news, but why do we need a separate bathroom for dogs, cats and other critters? Male, female, both, neither, transgender, transspecie, young, old, human, dog, horse, shouldn’t we all be able to poop and pee as one? I mean, if we don’t actually watch each other, we should at least all be granted the sacred right to simultaneously eliminate in the same room, no? This is a vital component of human dignity and liberty, is it not? And, of course, when I say “human,” I actually mean all living beings.
                The right to excrete together- and do so in any bathroom one wishes- is clearly codified in the Bible, the Magna Carta, the Constitution of the United States of America, and the Emancipation Proclamation. Did not Adam and Eve help fertilize the Garden of Eden together?


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