Trump Takes Questions

 Wednesday, April 13th, 2016- Epcot Center

 Donald Trump Takes Questions From A Panel Of Reporters And Special Interest Group Heads:

Katie Couric, moderator: “Thank you panel and thank you Mr. Trump for being here this evening. Wolf, start us off, please.”

Wolf Blitzer: “Mr. Trump, what, specifically, will you do to enhance America’s military preparedness?”

Trump: “Well, I’m going to make it great again! I love the military! I’m telling you, it’s going to be so big and prepared you won’t believe it!”

Diane Sawyer: “Mr. Trump, how will you counter the claims of some that you don’t respect women?”

Trump: “Diane, and by-the-way you look ravishing tonight, I do respect women! I respect the hell out of them! Not only do I respect them, I love them. L-O-V-E! Ask my wife and daughter, they will tell you, I’m telling you!”

Shepard Smith: “Mr. Trump, what about the country’s infrastructure…the roads and bridges? What will you do to repair them?”

Trump: “I love roads and bridges, I am telling you! After I’m elected president there will be soooo many roads you won’t even believe it! Good roads…and bridges, we’ll have bridges like never before, so many bridges! And they’ll be in great shape! I am a builder…it’s what I do…and a fixer! I will build and fix roads and bridges all day long…until the cows come home, I’m telling you! You won’t believe it! And I’ll get the Germans to pay for it! I mean, after all, the Marshall Plan…they owe us!”

Daniel M. Ashe, director of the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service (USFWS): “Mr. Trump, how will you- or will you- protect our waters, inland and coastal, from degradation and encroachment? And will you protect our rights to fish and hunt?”

Trump: “I love to fish! Always have! I am such a big hunter…snipe and everything else! There will be so much non-degradation and non-encroachment going on when I’m president, you won’t even believe it! I will increase the populations of sportfish, you know…the good ones…so much it’ll be yuuge, I’m telling you this! Fish will literally be jumping out of the water, they’ll be so many of them when I’m in office! I mean, not the dangerous Asian carp fishes that already do that now, because I’m going to deport them…and all the other invasive species! We will have desirable fish all over the place, this I can tell you!”

Brian Williams: “Mr. Trump, I well remember when I was an astronaut in the Apollo program. Those were heady days, yet we haven’t been back to the moon. As president, would you consider a mission to the moon, and how do you feel about space exploration in general?”

Trump: “Brian, not only will we go to the moon during my presidency, we will build a tower there! The Trump Lunar Tower or some such! And I’ll see that roads and bridges are built on the moon, good ones like you can’t believe! To the moon, Brian…to the moon! But that’s just for starters! We will be so great at space exploration! I will send missions to all the planets…and other galaxies. Andromeda, here we come! It will be like nothing anyone’s ever seen, I can tell you this!”

Terry O’Neill, President of the National Organization for Women (NOW): “Mr. Trump, how do you reply to those who say you have small hands?”

Trump: “My hands can hold their own with any man’s, I promise you! They are sooo not small, you can’t believe it! You know who I heard has small hands? Ted Cruz…Ted has small hands! And Hillary, Hillary Clinton’s hands are terribly small…it’s unbelievable!”

Christiane Amanpour: “Mr. Trump, how do you plan to do all this without exploding an already staggering national debt?”

Trump: “Well, first, the economy will be so great you won’t believe it, so that will bring in more revenue…I mean, everyone will have a job! Second, I plan to have China and Saudi Arabia pay off some of it, that will be yuuuge! I mean, the Arabs have money, right? Look at Dubai? And the Saudi princes are always coming over here and going to LA and Vegas, buying hookers left and right and the most expensive cigars and booze! They trash their hotel rooms and light their stogies with bills and we still buy their oil! And, 9/11, the Gulf War…they owe us a favor or two, too! And China, I mean all the stuff of theirs we’ve bought all these years…what about that? They’re nothing without us! Reciprocity is what it’s called. Reciprocity!”

Anderson Cooper: “Mr. Trump, many in the GLBTQ community are concerned about how they’d be treated under a Trump administration. What do you have to say about that concern?”

Trump: “My views have evolved a bit. I can tell you I love gays today! Gays and lesbians, bisexuals, you name it, I love them! I tell you, they will be dancing in the streets during my presidency, it will be so great for them! And pride? You’ll never before have seen such pride! And transgenders? You think there are lots of genders now? You won’t believe how many genders there will be! I promise you there will be hundreds and hundreds of genders! Genders as far as the eye can see, I’m telling you! It will be so great, you won’t even believe it!”

Bret Baier: “Mr. Trump, you must know that a great many people consider your actions and statements to be anything but presidential. Many, in fact, view them as embarrassing. If you actually become the Republican nominee…or President of the United States… will you modify your behavior? Are you even capable of acting presidential?”

Trump: “That is a great question, Bret! When I am Commander-in-Chief, I will be so presidential, you won’t even believe it! I will be more presidential than any president we’ve ever had, this I can promise you! I will be a friggin’ Statesman, Bret, Capisce?! Statesman and President like you won’t even believe!”

Katie Couric: “Well, that wraps it up for now. Again, thank you panel and thank you Mr. Trump for being here tonight. And thanks to you in the audience. Good night.”