Gov. Tim Walz Says Federal Government Is "Weaponized" Against Minnesota

 

 Minnesota Governor Tim “Jazz Hands” Walz is apoplectic that the erstwhile North Star State could lose various forms of federal funding due to the massive and yet ever-growing fraud scandals unfolding there. In fact, Walz recently stated that “It’s very clear” that “the entire federal government is weaponized against Minnesota.”

 No, your state’s government, led by you, is weaponized against Minnesotans, governor! Taxing them silly and allowing those tax dollars to go to mansions and luxury automobiles for some, and to a terror group like Al-Shabaab. That is intolerable. The founders would have taken up arms if necessary and thrown your administration’s unrepresentative, taxation-besotted asses out onto the frozen tundra. And tax dollars from citizens around the fruited plain should certainly not be funneled to your government under these circumstances!

            “Retard” Doesn't seem quite enough, or exactly accurate to describe Tampon Timmy Walz. Especially inasmuch as he knowingly aided and abetted-- and then covered up-- diverse frauds of staggering proportions. This wasn't because of lack of capability, per se, it was because of lack of character.

           So, what word most accurately describes him? Clown? Retard? Asshat? Criminal? Knucklehead? Perhaps we need to utilize all of these terms put together, with the acronym “CRACK.”

          Perhaps someday soon we will hear of folks driving by the governor's mansion in Saint Paul, yelling “Crack! Crack!” Since Walz doesn't read sites like this one, this should puzzle him and be the source of great consternation, which would be highly amusing. On the other hand, it might just remind him to hand out more free crack pipes to the homeless.

          Let's find out, shall we?