Five News Stories In Short Form

Five News Stories In Short Form

*Florida police said that two illegal aliens were arrested on Friday for allegedly molesting a teenager on a Royal Caribbean cruise off the coast of Miami. According to Department of Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem, one of the illegal aliens has an HIV infection. Noem also noted that officials are working on deporting both. One question: what the hell are illegal aliens doing on a Royal Caribbean cruise?! (I’ve never even spent the money to take a cruise.) I hope they enjoyed the swimming pools, the cuisine and the nightlife. I bet the Oysters Rockefeller were to die for!

*Tesla vehicles have been keyed, graffitied, shat on, and set on fire. Their owners have been doxed. Whole dealerships have been attacked. And, most recently, several incendiary devices were discovered at a Tesla showroom in Austin, Texas. Police are investigating, but no arrests had been made at the time of this writing. Not to worry, though, I’m sure these were ‘mostly peaceful’ bombs.

*A new report chronicled in The Times illustrates a staggering 60 percent rise in Dutch euthanasia cases for “psychological suffering.” The report states that almost 10,000 Dutch people in total dyed by euthanasia last year alone. In 2024, the Netherlands reported 219 cases of euthanasia for “psychological suffering,” of which “30 were for patients aged 18-39.” An unspecified number of minors were also euthanized, including one boy between the ages of 16 and 18 who was euthanized for autism. Euthanasia was originally only supposed to be utilized for the most terminally ill of elderly patients in constant pain and with no hope of even partial recovery. Slowly yet inexorably the parameters of use have devolved to include mental illness and other lesser maladies. And now the assisted-suicide of young patients with autism. What’s next, the euthanizing of those with shingles? COVID? Bad colds? Irritable Bowel Syndrome? How can it be that the overwhelming majority of those who are pro genital mutilation of children, pro assisted-dying/euthanasia, and pro-abortion are anti-death penalty? It is impossible to be more screwed up than that.

*The headline in the San Francisco Chronicle read: “‘Demonic’ sea lions are attacking surfers off California’s coast: What’s behind the bizarre behavior.” Let’s not panic here-- or jump to conclusions. Maybe it’s just co-hosts of The View going for a swim…and looking for a snack. Could be fake news! Trouble you for a herring?

*The Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) recently announced that it had purged roughly 7 million Social Security number-holders listed as at least 120 years old from the Social Security Administration’s Database and marked them as deceased. I am surprised that we have not yet seen a massive protest rally of these unfairly aggrieved folks understandably upset at having Elon Musk cancel their SSNs and their social security benefits.