Definitions From The Progressive Dictionary

 

Definitions From The Progressive Dictionary:

 

Agender: Having no personal sense of gender at all. Or having no gender at all. Neither male or female, nor any other gender. Complete and utter genderlessness. Freeing!

Bisexual: A person who likes sex with both males and females. Superior to a garden-variety heterosexual, as they are more open-minded, tolerant…and fun-loving.

Communism: A peerless ideology seeking equal and just distribution of wealth for those that don’t need to be cancelled or killed.

Diversity: Always good when it comes to race, ethnicity, gender, and sexual orientation. Always bad when it comes to potentially accepting traditional or conservative thought and ethics.

Equity: Equality of outcome. Everyone must have the same amount of stuff, money, prestige, etc. Except for those who demand equity, who can have more, as they are morally superior to those who don’t.

Fairness: Whatever we progressives deem it to be. Period.

Gay: A term for a man—or trans man—who prefers sex with another man. Better than a straight man.

Heterosexual: A primitive person, given to bizarre but traditional behavior. Often a bigot.

Intersectionality: the complex, cumulative way in which the effects of multiple forms of discrimination-- such as racism, sexism, classism, ablism, and transphobia-- combine, overlap, or intersect in the experiences of marginalized groups, especially in blatantly discriminatory societies like the United States. (Note: cannot apply to white people.)

Justice: What you as a progressive get when you loot and/or burn down businesses in your city when you are angry because you think an injustice has been perpetrated in another city.

Klansman: Republican. Or police officer.

Lesbian: A woman-- or trans woman-- who prefers sex with another woman. Better than a straight woman.

Misinformation: Anything that contradicts-- or does not fully support—our enlightened views as progressives.

Nature: God. Nature begot man. Nature is good. Man is bad. Especially conservatives and Republicans.

One-world government: The ultimate goal. Must be socialist, of course. From each according to her/his/they ability to each according to her/his/they needs. Equity will reign and all problems will be solved. We will finally all live in harmony.

Problematic: Anything that contradicts-- or does not fully support-- our views as leftists and progressive elites. 

Queer: Normal. Healthy. Fun.

Republican: Troglodyte. Mouth-breather. A person who hates your grandma. And the Earth.

Sex: Interchangeable with gender. Impossible to determine at birth or by genitalia. There are an infinite number of sexes.

Tolerance: The gleeful acceptance of all things we as progressives like, combined with a militant intolerance of all things we don’t.

Uber: The way many of us leftists get around when our bicycles are in the shop. (Owning a motor vehicle is problematic.) The company of that name is based in San Francisco, which is a bonus.

Voter: Anyone of any age— dead or alive, resident or not—that can be made to cast a ballot for a Democrat or Democratic-socialist.

White: Another term for racist. Also, a synonym for bigot.

Xenophobic: The word we should use to accuse others of being prejudiced against people from other countries. (We, of course, are only prejudiced against people we dislike from our own country.)

Y: As in “Y” chromosome, which is bad because it leads to toxic masculinity.

Zionist: Someone who is anti-Palestinian and therefore has no right to exist. That someone is probably wealthy, too. And often generalizes about others.