It is the end of the world as we know it.
is going to be an Olympic sport at the Paris 2024 event. (If
mankind makes it to 2024. And is not locked down by another
is among four “sports” that the Paris organizers have opted to add to The Games
of the XXXIII Olympiad. The other three are “sport climbing,” skateboarding and
surfing. It seems the International Olympic Committee (IOC) is keen to
introduce more inclusive, youth-centered, and gender-balanced (or
gender-neutral) games to the stodgy, stuffy old Olympic Games. The four
additional sports have a few things in common. They are all easy to take up,
popular with today’s youth, and have large, active followings on social media. The
IOC thinks the addition of these sports will inspire millions more kids to
partake of them…and, more importantly, watch the Olympic Games.
baseball is out at the Summer Olympics but breakdancing is in. Surely line
dancing and “twerking” will be Olympic sports in 2028. Such is the world in
which we live.
In keeping with the drive for
inclusiveness, perhaps Yachtzee, Tiddlywinks or tag could be added soon? Or
“Pin The Tail On The Donkey?” On second thought, these are all, like, so
yesterday. (Though the latter could be updated to “Pin The Tail On The Trump
Supporter.”) Perhaps Pokémon Go would be a better fit. Video
games will soon be added en masse, I’m sure.
Even if we are still plagued by a
pandemic—or just rulers who like to exercise their power over us—there are
still opportunities for holding the games while observing proper social
distancing etiquette. All “athletes” from every nation taking part in the games
would have to wear at least one facial mask, of course. The four new Paris
sports would fit nicely into the guidelines, seeing as how they are all usually
engaged in individually and at a distance. Hide and Seek could be added (see
the classic Monty Python
skit), with one nation’s entrant trying to avoid being found by another’s
for as long as possible. That’s competitive social distancing!
And there’s always Solitaire, the
iconic card game for one.
Ironically, the less autonomy and
freedom we have, the more we express it alone. And remember, “Being apart helps
bring us together!”