Sunday, December 20, 2020

Breakdancing To Be An Olympic Sport In 2024


              It is the end of the world as we know it.

              Breakdancing” is going to be an Olympic sport at the Paris 2024 event. (If mankind makes it to 2024. And is not locked down by another plandemic pandemic.)

              Yes, breakdancing is among four “sports” that the Paris organizers have opted to add to The Games of the XXXIII Olympiad. The other three are “sport climbing,” skateboarding and surfing. It seems the International Olympic Committee (IOC) is keen to introduce more inclusive, youth-centered, and gender-balanced (or gender-neutral) games to the stodgy, stuffy old Olympic Games. The four additional sports have a few things in common. They are all easy to take up, popular with today’s youth, and have large, active followings on social media. The IOC thinks the addition of these sports will inspire millions more kids to partake of them…and, more importantly, watch the Olympic Games.

              So, baseball is out at the Summer Olympics but breakdancing is in. Surely line dancing and “twerking” will be Olympic sports in 2028. Such is the world in which we live.

In keeping with the drive for inclusiveness, perhaps Yachtzee, Tiddlywinks or tag could be added soon? Or “Pin The Tail On The Donkey?” On second thought, these are all, like, so yesterday. (Though the latter could be updated to “Pin The Tail On The Trump Supporter.”) Perhaps Pokémon Go would be a better fit. Video games will soon be added en masse, I’m sure.

Even if we are still plagued by a pandemic—or just rulers who like to exercise their power over us—there are still opportunities for holding the games while observing proper social distancing etiquette. All “athletes” from every nation taking part in the games would have to wear at least one facial mask, of course. The four new Paris sports would fit nicely into the guidelines, seeing as how they are all usually engaged in individually and at a distance. Hide and Seek could be added (see the classic Monty Python skit), with one nation’s entrant trying to avoid being found by another’s for as long as possible. That’s competitive social distancing!

And there’s always Solitaire, the iconic card game for one.

Ironically, the less autonomy and freedom we have, the more we express it alone. And remember, “Being apart helps bring us together!”



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