Tuesday, January 30, 2018

The Trumpys

                Oscars, Emmys, Tonys, ESPYs, Grammys, it makes no difference… it appears that every award show from now until the sun expires will be nothing but a vehicle to bash President Donald Trump and conservative Republicans. In days of yore, the award-winning performers would usually step up to the microphone, gratitude on their faces, and say something like, “I’d like to thank the Academy,” etc., before making a few other brief remarks and returning to their seats. Today's performers come up to the microphone, countenance’s dripping in vitriolic superiority, and say something like, “In light of these dark times, I accept this award in honor of all those oppressed and marginalized by despots like President Trump, who isn’t fit to share the label of ‘human being,’ blah, blah, blah, and so- in closing- I ask you all to join with me in resisting Hitleresque thugs like Trump and his fellow Neanderthals in the Republican Party. Do it for the Dreamers. Do it for the world. #MeToo.”
                Soon, a new award will be given out based solely on the performer’s attack on Trump/Republicans. How heartfelt was it? How long? How did it rate on the viciousness scale? How creative was it? Did it inspire others to anger and violence? Actors and actresses, college professors, late night and morning television hosts, mainstream media morons, and Silicon Valley corporate bigwigs will all clamor to get their hands on a coveted “Trumpy,” to graphically prove to the world how much more compassionate they are than the unaccredited, Trumpy-less deplorables in fly-over country.
                Every genre and mode of communication has now been given over to bashing Trump and/or Republicans. Nearly every television show. Almost every movie. Newspapers and magazines, music and theatre, they all spew the same message. This group-think has spilled over into classrooms, cartoons, comics, sports pages and obituaries. Crossword puzzles and recipes are next, I assume. The purportedly open-minded will take every opportunity for self-aggrandizement, but will brook no dissent. This is not what courage looks like. In fact, it bears a strong resemblance to cowardice. “Resistance” sounds nice, but who among them would have the self-confidence and integrity to resist the resistance?
                The self-styled creative crowd thinks they are pioneers and pushing the envelope when they make dads, businessmen, and straight white males look like buffoons or monsters. They think they are in the vanguard of “the Resistance” when they incessantly mock Christianity and Christians, and portray residents of rural, heartland areas as intolerant, racist, inbred, ignoramuses clinging to their God and their guns. They might try to deny this in public, but I’ve been in private with enough of them to know this is literally an accurate depiction of what many of these “progressives” believe.
                This all having been said, let’s take a look at the fresh new line-up of television shows:

*MSNBC, 6:00AM- Morning Joe: Lovebirds Joe and Mika host this show in which a “casual atmosphere full of lively political discussions” leads to near constant character assassination of Trump and his ilk!
*ABC, 9:00AM- The View: Join Joy Behar, Whoopie Goldberg and friends for a delightful morning of Trump-bashing! Start your day off right with insightful and hilarious mockery of evil Republicans!
*CBS, 3:00PM- The Ellen DeGeneres Show: Join Ellen and guests for a comedic yet gentle send-up of all things traditional!
*PBS/TPT, 6:00PM- The PBS NewsHour: an informative look at current events from an unbiased deep-state perspective…
*NBC, 8:00PM- Will & Grace: Your favorite LGBTQ characters are back for some zany but poignant fun…at the expense of those intolerant, Bible-thumping Republican-types, of course!
*ABC, 8:00PM- Modern Family: A tender and funny, subtler skewing of all things traditional.
*ABC, 9:00PM- All My Gay Friends Are Getting Married: A hilarious rebuttal to repressive, oppressive traditionally religious bigots! Can’t miss TV!
*MSNBC, 9:00PM- The Rachel Maddow Show: Join Rachel as she skewers such evil entities as Fox News, President Trump, the Republican Party, traditional beliefs, Capitalism and traditional Christianity (but not Islam!). The weirdly endearing one will soon have you wondering just what she’ll do and say next!
*CBS/NBC/ABC, 10:00PM: Take your pick of the evening news shows, all of which deliver straight-forward, hard-hitting news. The stories you care about… from those who know exactly what you should think about them!
*CBS, 10:30- The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Revel in hilariously savage attacks on our President!
*ABC, 10:30- Jimmy Kimmel Live: Enjoy Jimmy as he relates heart-tugging stories of Republicans that want to throw your beloved wheel-chair-bound grandmother off a cliff and poison our water. Bonus: hilariously savage attacks on President Trump!
*NBC, 10:30PM: The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Join Jimmy as he has fun with various politicians, especially Trump and the Republican retrogrades!
*NBC, 11:30PM- Late Night with Seth Myers: Seth never fails to entertain as he relentlessly, remorselessly- and delightfully- goes after our degenerate Commander-in-Chief and his acolytes!
*Netflix, On Demand- Chelsea: One of Time Magazine’s 100 Most Influential People in the World delivers wonderfully over-the-top diatribes against white men, Trump, Republicans, Christians, and traditional families. Cutting edge!
*Comedy Central, Various- Broad City: The two female protagonists are so committed to progressive values they literally won’t utter the “T-word.” (Trump). Raunchy fun ensues as they gleefully mock each and every foundational building block of American, Christian society! (Editor’s Choice Award; Editor’s note: there are other great options on this network such as “The President Show,” and “Inside Amy Schumer.” Each do yeoman’s work delegitimatizing the white, male patriarchal culture in which we are all immersed).
*CNN, Various- Every CNN program, every hour, every day: This network is the gold-standard for demonstrating how there is no such thing as “fake news.” It is obvious, avers the network, that fake news does not exist, and is simply a construct of fevered, right-wing imaginations. It makes clear that the whole discredited concept of fake news, is, in fact, obviously fake news.


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