CNN: Government Shutdown Could Endanger Earth

                 CNN correspondent Tom Foreman recently put forth a theory that Earth might be in grave danger due to President Trump’s intransigence. During an appearance on “The Lead with Jake Tapper,” Foreman claimed that NASA could stop monitoring asteroids during the government shutdown, while breathlessly noting that, “A big one, by the way, is expected to brush by Earth on February 4.” The Purportedly Panicked One went on to explain that this scenario actually occurred in 2013 during the last government shut down, saying: “For more than two weeks, NASA reportedly stopped monitoring potentially dangerous asteroids.”

                Space.com, however, had some inconvenient truths for the Fake News Network’s reporter. First, rather than brushing by the Earth, the offending body will be approximately 2.6 million miles away. Also, Paul Chodas, of the Center for Near-Earth-Object Studies at NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory, told the site that the asteroid that Foreman was concerned about “has no chance—zero—of colliding with Earth on February 4 or any time over the next 100 years.”

               That’s good news for anyone who is looking forward to watching the Super Bowl. Or the Winter Olympic Games. Maybe I will buy a new television.

               Asteroids? Trumps fault. Hemorrhoids? Trump’s fault. Opioids? Trump’s fault. Lyme disease, eczema, painful rectal itch? Trump’s fault.

               CNN, and its counterparts/accomplices in the mainstream media, have already blamed Trump for almost every problem under the sun. They would almost certainly blame him if it expired.