Tuesday, June 20, 2017

Love Is Love: Tri-Parenting Rules!

                Once it is determined that marriage is not just to be defined as between one man and one woman, and that it isn’t primarily in support of procreation and child-rearing, then, logically, anything goes. If complimentary genitalia is of no matter, neither the gender, obviously, nor the quantity of those betrothed has any relevance to the union(s). If “Love is Love” trumps all other factors, everyone should be free to marry any other being- or thing- they choose, in any quantity they choose, regardless of sex, age, relationship, or species, whether animal, vegetable or mineral. Period. (Whether or not the being or thing is capable of a ‘period’! Period-less Pride, baby, period-less pride!).
                Fortunately, we are rapidly headed in just that inclusive, progressive direction. In fact, in recent years, California and Maine have passed legislation protecting “tri-parenting,” affording threesomes the legal right to share custody and child-rearing duties. Tri-parenting is gaining significant traction in other states, as well, and, as with no-fault divorce, abortion rights, and gay marriage, it too is just the tip of the proverbial iceberg when it comes to redefining marriage and adult’s relationships with children.
                Not surprisingly, a handful of university professors claim that three-way parenting can actually be beneficial to a child, though others- and most sociologists- would disagree. Studies show that children in two-parent households perform better both academically and emotionally. Logic dictates that kids in “tri-parenting” households would be exposed to more complexity, instability and turmoil.
                Domestic scene #1, circa 2057- a young girl riding a bicycle in her driveway…her neighbor addresses her:
                “Hi, Amber, where are your parents?”
                “Oh, hi Mr. Johnson. Um, five of them are upstairs in the house. They said they needed some ‘parental unit’ time. I think they’re doing it. Anyway, the other three are at Costco.”

                Domestic scene #2, circa 2057- a teenage girl at home with her parents:
                “Hi, dad #1! Can I borrow the car keys?”
                “What for, honey?”
                “I’m going to go see Lance…and Alicia…and Larry. We’re going to go on a date. Probably catch a movie.”
                “No. Sorry, dear, but I don’t like that Larry. His grandfather voted for Trump back in ’16.”
                “Fine! I’ll just go ask one of my other dads!”

                Domestic scene #3, circa 2057- a 15-year-old girl asks mom #2 if she can spend the night at her two boyfriend’s apartment:
                “So, is it okay if I sleep over with Mutt and Jeff, mom?”
                “No, not tonight. You’ve already slept over with them twice this week.”
                “You bitch…I hate you! My other mom would’ve let me!”
                “I know. That’s why you’ve already slept over there twice this week.”
                The girl lashes out in righteous anger and slaps mom #2.
                Mom #2, shaking with rage: “You just wait until your third daddy comes home, Betty Lou Smith!”

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